My father is an asshole who beats women and children. He smokes. My grandfather is a wonderful, gentle man who doesn't. I smoke, and I'm much more like my grandfather than my father, mostly because my grandfather raised me and my father did not.

Who you are is much more dependent on what you experience, the decisions you make, the things you read, and the effort you put into being a worthwhile human being than it is your choice of inebriation. Kindness, patience, and an open mind trumps all.