First let me say i appreciate your words, a lot. I doubted that anyone would really read, understand, and give feedback towards what I presented this board.

I understand your theory of the "waves" our brain gets used to, it makes a lot of sense. And I really appreciate your attempts to help me, and you have (for parts of it).

So I'm going to assume you're correct about the theory you presented, since it does make sense. But I have no control over these "shifts" in waves. If you're right on your theory, then I would be able to control when these shifts occur..how would I go about doing that? because right now it feels I'm lost in-between waves (sleep/awake), how do I get back up to that "awake" state? and have better control of this new-born ability (as you said, is a gift)

and to answer your question, no I'm not a girl. just a 19 yr old guy. I understand why you would think that though, because when you were introduced to my text, you saw that tidbit about me having to check my appearance in the mirror always. That's just how I've always been, I'm always self-conscious about my appearance. lolz