Ok i did read everything you wrote, and i think i can give you an explanation that you wont read (or hear) anywhere else. I wish it helps you to at least understand exactly what is happening with you.

One model we can use to understand how our mind works is to compare it with a radio, which can be tuned to several stations, each different station being a different state of mind we are percieving or feeling or existing into, like awake, dreaming, daydreaming, stoned, hallucinating, etc.

One thing that differentiates this different "tunings" of the mind is what the mind pays more attention to, and what it disregards. So, for example, when we're awake our minds (usually) pays more attention to the external events than to the memories, so the external events feels more "real" than the memories. Yet when we're dreaming, our minds pays more attention to its own workings (memories, fears, etc) and less atention to the external environment, and so we dream, and while dreaming we forget that there is an "external world". When one is having a pleasant experience on weed, it senses feel heightened (music sounds awesome, any food tastes delicious, images seems beautiful, etc), which means the mind is paying more attention to its senses than when its "sober"... and the same goes for every concievable state of mind. The different states of mind, different "tunings" of it are differences in what the mind is focusing more attention in, and what the mind is disregarding.

When our minds are finely tuned into some state, this state feels "real", and when our minds are loosely tuned into some state (imagine a children playing with a radio dial), this state feels "unreal", "dreamy". Thats what happens when we fall asleep. When we're awake, our minds are finely tuned in the "awake" station, and so we precieve the outside world as a waking person.

Then when we start to fall asleep, our "dials" starts to get loose and to wander aimlessly, away from the "awake" station. Then we start to having that strange thoughts in that intermediate state between awake and sleeping, and as our minds "tune out" more and more from the awake station, we start to have increasingly deeper dreams, until we were completly unaware of our external surroundings (or, in other words, we are sleeping).

But, the "realness" of a state of mind comes exclusively from the "fine tunedness" of the mind in whatever state it be. So, if for any reason the mind fine tune itself in any "dream" station, this dream will feel very real, as much real as it were the "fine tunedness" of the mind in this state. This is the reason because (usually) our waking consciousness feels "real", while the dreams feels "unreal", "dreamy": because we are very used to tune our mind in the awake station, and so we can tune it very finely in this awake station, while when we are sleeping usually our minds are somewhat "loose", and dont tune finely in any station for long, but keeps wandering from station to station, giving an disconnected, dreamy perspective.

Now, how it applies to your particular situation. I remember youve said before the experience you had a natural inclination to zone out, that you had some episodes of sleep paralysis, felt the bed (or rather your body) vibrating, and after the experience you even had an OOBE. All this are signs that your mind have an unusual ability to loose its tune in whatever state it be (usually the "awake" one). Zoning out is the result of a very slight change in the "station" the mind is tuned into, sleep paralysis and the perception of the vibrational state are results of a larger change in the "dial", and OOBEs are results of a greater displacement of the minds "dial".

Note that this changes, even if unusual, are completly normal. Maybe many doctors (and people in general) wont agree, and will insist that the only "normal" tuning of the mind is the one we usually are at when we're awake, sober and in "perfect use of the mental faculties". I dont deem them guilty of their ignorance. They are just confusing "normal" with "usual", and "known". Remember of it when you see a doctor, psychiatrist or whatever.

Anyway, the only "important" thing that the tuning of the mind in the usual "awake, sober, normal" station has is that this tuning is the one we share with most people around us. Most of peoples minds are tuned into this "awake, sober, normal" station, and so all of them percieve the world the same way, and thus agree with what they are percieveing, deeming this way of percieving as "normal", "real". Yet, they hardly agree with their other mind stations (its unusual to have two or more persons sharing the same dream, for example, even if it IS possible), and so they think this other stations are unreal.

(As a sidenote, not only sharing dreams is possible, but many people who usually have OOBEs and have conscious control over them agrees that the "world" you percieve while having OOBEs is as real as the one we are right now, and different OOBErs agree with what they percieve in that world the same way we agree with what we percieve in this physical world. The same agreement of perception is shared by shamans and normal people under effects of some plants during their rituals, or even by some "trippers" when tripping with some hallucinogens).

So, being able to tune the mind in other stations than the "awake, sober, normal" one is NOT a disease, but in fact a natural property of our mind. When we are children, our minds can wander freely and tune in any stations, much like it does when we are sleeping. Then, because of our SOCIALIZATION, our minds LEARN to focus in one precise tuning, exactly the one i call the "awake, sober, normal" station. As we grow, we learn to make this tuning finer and finer, we condition our mind "dials" to stay "glued" to this precise station. Its what makes us percieve the way we (and everybody else) do, and what makes us think that its the only state our mind should be tuned at.

From this viewpoint, what happened with you can be explained very easily. Cannabis, like any other mind altering substance, does induce a change in the station the mind is tuned at. The greater the dose (or rather the percieved effect), greater the displacement from the original tuning. So, you smoked and your mind tuned out from the "awake, sober, normal" station and wandered far, very far, because the weed. Usually, with almost every person, the mind is SO conditionated to be tuned at the "awake, sober, normal" station, that after the weed effects wears off the mind tunes back to this station, and the person feels "sober" again. But in your case, it wasnt so. Probably your (already present) ability to have the mind "untuned" or "loosely" tuned avoided that your mind could completly return to the "awake, sober, normal" station, and kept it wandering aimlessly from station to station (the various mind states you started to feel after the experience).

And the episodes you had after smoking, that you said were triggered by several things, were also changes in your minds "dial", when it re-tuned at the same station it did when you smoked the first time, and so triggered a re-living of the event.

Now, even if i know what happened, i dont know what advice i could give you. You are NOT crazy. Your condition is very unusual by the standards of our society, but there isnt anything wrong with your mind. Its working differently from the other people, and it may make you different from the "standard", but it doesnt mean that your mind is "wrong". Its working as anyones mind before it were conditioned by socialization, so i would even say that your mind is far more free than anybodys else. For you what you feel may feel scary, weird, whatever, but there are some people (shaman apprentices, some monks, etc) who spends several years training their minds to reach a state like yours, and uses it for their own benefit. So, if you lived in their societies, you would be considered a "genius", a "very gifted" person, and not a "crazy" one.

I dont know if there is anything you could do to return to the "normal" state. Maybe some doctor jam you with heavy drugs (they call them "medicines") and they numb, dumb, or mess your mind in such way that you feel "normal" again, but i dont think it would be good, as it surely would have side effects.

The thing that shouldve been done was to surrender to the experience when you felt it the first time. When i smoked the first time i felt almost exactly what you felt. I also felt afraid, but i accepted it and flowed with it, even being afraid. So i ended enjoying it a lot, even if frightened (the same way one can enjoy a rollercoaster exactly because its frightening). And today i would smoke ANY amount of any weed only to catch a glimpse of that "seeing the things in frames" feeling again... i REALLY would... :jointsmile::abduct:

But now we cant change the past. So i think the only concrete thing you could do is to learn to live in this state of mind you are now. I would advise to dont fight against it, as it would only make you tired. When you was born, everything was new, and you had to become used to this world. Now you should do the same. Assume that your mind was born again and that you should become used to this "new" world you live now. Dont fight with it, but accept it. I think its the best you could do. I dont claim that it would be easy. Surely it would easier to come back to that old state of mind that you were used to, but if it were impossible, the best you can do is forget that and keep living. Remember, again, that there are people who would even die to percieve the world the way you do.
(I also thought about suggesting you to smoke some Indica, but im not sure if it would bring the desired results, so i prefer not to. At least for now.)

There is some books concerning this "theory" i explained. If you have interest, tell me and i can give you their names (or even PDFs). Also, whatever you want to ask, comment, just ask. I wish to help you as much as i can. And, at last but not at least, welcome to this forums! :thumbsup:

PS. Im assuming that youre a girl. Forgive me if youre not. Its not important to the subject itself, but only for me to picture better who im talking to.
Coelho Reviewed by Coelho on . Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome sparked by marijuana (sativa) For the past 4 months, I've been going through post traumatic stress from the first time I smoked marijuana. My guess? I just wasn't ready for it. These past four months, I've felt as if I've been suffering in a very cruel psychological way. I understand that this is something that the board/community isn't used to dealing with too often, but if there is someone out there who can relate, or even just understand what I'm going through and give me any words of comfort regarding it, I would Rating: 5