Oh I've already seen a psychiatrist, he told me it was post traumatic stress. I just can't afford a therapist right now..my dad is going through financial problems and I'm just a community college student. So my only option is to provide therapy for myself (such as typing that all out) and see where it leads me.

I've read the posts from the link you sent me, and while thats not me, you're right that it does seem pretty familiar..but only in terms of someone else getting a "bad high" and is now going through the ripple effects. (which would be considered post traumatic stress)

There's actually 18 pages of people like him and me here: [Click]