I have to really thank all of you though. I used to be on forums all the time because, as I said, I had no life, ^_^. Well, the point is, this forum is probably THE greatest I've ever been on. I've never felt a stronger sense of community than on these boards.
It's...It's as if people ACTUALLY care. It's fantastic.

Anyway, the only thing keeping me going is the fact that in 8 months, as Bunkyhope said, the world is going to seem more beautiful than I'd ever imagined it could be.

Brenda is refusing to let me go to a friend's house to live, and I've received advice that maybe it would be better to just spend 3:30 to 8 at the library. Get all my homework done there, then use the computers there to get on these forums. Then when it closes at 8 (small town, everything is usually closed by 6), I can walk home (I only live about 2 miles away, and it only takes me about 30 minutes to get from there to here and vica versa), and then go straight to my room and read.

I'd have more interaction with people because my friends have already said they'll hang out with me at the library. And the best part is, I have two friends that work there and when I'm not there, I'll "still be there." Know what I mean? ^_^ I just have to make sure that for the first couple weeks, I'm ACTUALLY there in case Brenda decides to say, "Let me talk to him." After that, she'll learn to trust me and the fact that I'm actually at the library. That means, I won't have to be there.

It'll work out fantastically. I've also been asking around and plenty of my friends are willing to loan me a couple bucks every months so I can steadily buy those Urine-Pimp solutions, or other solutions that allow me to pass when I'm not clean.

As to the counselor, I'm thinking about doing just that. The probation officer woman person.........said that family counseling is something we can look into when the time comes. I'm vieing for the counselor and me to talk, and not with Brenda. That will do just what you say, I talk to the counselor, tell them what's going on at home and after my session is done, Brenda gets her turn.
With my expressed permission, the counselor will then relay to Brenda that she should seriously learn to lighten up and give me some things back, including, but not limited it, my BOOKS!

I guess last night was just a really depressing time for me after what the probation officer said. I don't really care anymore, though. I've already accepted that I'll be punished, and now all I have to do is get through the next 8 months. It'll be 100% possible, I think, because I'll have you guys, and all my friends will still be "hangin' on" with me.

I'm not going to let Brenda defeat me. I will never give her the satisfaction of knowing she's defeated me. This isn't just about pride, though. I'm not sure what to call it, but it goes much more than that.

I want to thank every single one of you guys for all the help you've given me over the past 2 or so weeks. They're going to be sending out another letter to us telling when I have to appear in court, probably within the next couple weeks, so now I just have to wait to get that over with!
Gothen Reviewed by Gothen on . So, What's Gonna Happen To Me Now? Okay, here's the skimmy.... My friend had a joint rolled up and everything ready to go. Brenda (my ex-mother) was in the other room reading or whatever so I wanted to smoke some of it (she wanted to save most of it for her tonight when she goes with her boyfriend). So, I take two hits and we're sitting in here talking (she didn't smoke, by the way) and she has to make a call. So, I go and get the phone from in the living room where my mom is not even thinking about the smell. I sit down Rating: 5