still lonesome...

[zeitgeist]

yeah i know how you feel most of the time. Except ive just gotten to the point that i dont want to deal with the majority of people anymore.
I have a ton of self confidence, but its just the people at this college seem so dumb or annoying. irony lol
Cant wait to go home and be with my real friends

and NoDrugsForMe, if you ever wanna talk hit me up on AIM. Username: zenkipowa

zeitgeist Reviewed by zeitgeist on 10-22-2008. still lonesome... Can't make any friends... of course I haven't really tried because no one I run into has any of the same interests... tired of it. Don't want to deal with socialites... don't feel like dealing with general ignorance, which even I suffer from, but I can't get over it.... Been reading my Bible more often, but it's still SO hard to be by yourself 24/7... even when around others. My mind is always racing and nothing seems to add up. After three years of reading this site, I still find Rating: 5

[NoDrugs4Me]

You all make a lot of sense and I honestly believe my depression is self induced. I stay in my head quite often and am straying further and further from society. I can't say that it's a bad thing, as the people I encounter seem shady. It could very well be my environment or the fact that nothing is wrong, so I MAKE there be something wrong. Either way, something has gone haywire, so to say. Everything that is happening now is a direct effect of what I have done in the past. Lost opportunities and broken dreams are always with me, and tomorrow seems dark. I don't smoke as much as I used to. That may be the issue, or it can be why I never saw the problems before. I don't want to give up on my best friend, and I won't, but could the smoke really be to blame? It is possible I'm losing my mind...

[zihowie]

I know exactly what you went through. It took a relationship gone wrong for me to realize what was wrong with my current outlook on life. I was constantly looking for happiness outside myself. I was looking for happiness through the comfort of friends or through relationships; yet everything disappointed me.

People disappointed me and I was convinced that people would always let you down. I would do things for people and go out of my way to be nice and I never felt appreciated. The same would hold true for my relationships. If I didn't get the response I was expecting from the other person involved I would become very depressed.. convinced that either I didn't fit in or that the world was a horrible miserable place.

Someone then told me the obvious. Do not have expectations. I didn't understand until 1-2 years later; but after much self reflection it totally made sense. My disappointment in people, the world and all my relationships had nothing to do with other people. My disappointment and unhappiness had to do with my expectations of what 'should be'.

When you expect someone to respond to you a certain way.. when you expect someone to understand your point of view, when you expect someone to love you back then you set yourself up for sadness. The only expectation you should ever have is of yourself. When you can find happiness in yourself and let go of your expectations of others then things become much easier.

When I do things for people now I do it out of genuinity and do not expect them to say thank you or seem appreciative. The fact that I wanted to do it is enough satisfaction for me. Knowing I was able to help this person is enough. When someone doesn't understand my point of view, and this one is a hard one but ultimatley, I let it go and accept that we are just different people and I try to learn more about people from the conflict/contrast. When I do not receive the response I'm hoping for from my significant other I don't mind, I let it go and accept that she may think differently or express her love, appreciation, comfort etc etc differently from me.. therefore what I perceive to be a lack of caring is within myself and not within the others.

All the unhappiness we feel in this world stems from ourselves. No one can MAKE you unhappy. Only you can make yourself unhappy but at the same time only YOU can make yourself happy/content.

Knowing this I have been able to let go of the attachment to reciprocation or expectations and focus on myself. I've realized *I* am a good person. I've realized *I* am pretty funny. I've realized *I* am attractive.. I've realized *I* genuinely care.. I've realized that I an intelligent and knowledgable.. and I've realized that no one else is me; therefore I shouldn't hold them up to my same standards or expect them to act as I would.

Since then I've found happiness in myself.. With this lack of attachment and happiness within myself I've also found happiness in life.

I am not sure if anything I said has made sense or if you can understand it. It took me a few years to grasp this concept but once I did I have never been happier.

Do not look elsewhere to be content just realize that nothing and no one will be like you and expecting someone or society to act as you do will only lead to sadness and disappointment; but if you let go of this then you can see things for what they really are.

Everything, everyone and every social group/society is different. If you happen to find someone similar to you then find joy in that you have a kindred spirit in life but also find joy in that everyone is different.

Let go of expectations.


ps: your anxiety and depression could be legit, but before you do something drastic I suggest you take a strong look at yourself and ask yourself if you feel the way you do because it's your outlook or if things are REALLY the way you perceive them.

ie: if you feel like everyone hates you then do they? Are they walking past you on a daily basis telling you you're worthless or do you just FEEL that they hate you?

I've noticed something since my change. People directly reflect back the mood and persona which you put out; however they can sense the difference between being genuine and not. Look inside yourself for the answers.

pss: I'm not high. I've actually been dead sober for almost 2 months now (wish i had some weed though.. lol)

Wow oh wow. A lot of times when ive read your post you seem to come down on some a little hard, but I know and can tell its all for the good. In this case you hit the nail on the head, not just for him, but me as well and I appreciate it immensely man!!

I understood and accepted this concept of expectations for awhile and that other people can be just down-right evil. I have a hard time accepting that and I myself am just a happy-go-lucky, sharing person I tend to be guillable. Not in any major factors but small things like a story of their life, something miniscule in the small run and something that later I find to be completely false.
I side-tracked for a minute, but what Im trying to say is I have had this outlook (the one you described of the concept, as well as the self-pity one) for a minute now and even though I knew what was wrong I havent changed. Ive heard it before, but it wasnt really applicable to me and when I read this where you cant expect others to make you happy or be on the same thought as you, it really hit home. thanks a bunch bro

[beachguy in thongs]

Write down things that you want to do to enjoy yourself, tomorrow. If you have problems thinking of things, go into chatrooms and brainstorm.

A dog or a cat will make you want to eat them, but, only because they're so cute. You should get one. I'd go with the cat. I've heard that they can make your life longer.

[rebgirl420]

Youve got some serious poor me syndrome. Unfortunately self pity is addictive. Sometimes feeling bad just feels so right, and no you dont have to be a masochist

People build up problems in their heads plenty too. Cultivate your zen like easy come easy go approach to the world and watch as everything becomes drastically easier

Exactly. You don't know how good you have it compared to a lot of other people.

Things could always be MUCH worse. Instead of complaining about your life why don't you go and try to make life better for someone who really is down shit creek without a paddle.

[JohnnyZ]

Isn't it up shit's creek without a paddle? I guess it depends which way you want to travel on shit's creek. Where does shit's creek lead to anyways? I think it would be fitting if it led to poop hill or something else along the feces line.

[rebgirl420]

I dunno, either way you look at it either way down shit creek is still rather shitty.

[JohnnyZ]

Alright enough shit jokes, it's not helping this thread. Unless NoDrugs4Me really likes shit humour, in which case we'd be helping his depression..

[flyingimam]

Anyone know what I'm talkin about? Is it just the "poor me" syndrome or could my anxiety and depression be legit?

:warm handshake:
Hi, my name is flyin"high"imam and I totally am in your situation. except that I dont read the bible, and dont grow stuff yet!

This is my social circle, right here! and I try to make the best out of it. I find making freinds, and I mean selected and appropriate friends, quite hard around here. i have been with the average and even wanksta AND gangsta crowd, none were satisfactory for me. so for now I'm quite lonely and love it far better than being with those i truly cant relate to.

hell, I'm even lonely in my own house despite living with family members, keepin it cool with them and my profile low.

One thing I do alot is to talk outloud and put my mind out as if im talking to an audience, it works for me to nullify that loneliness when im really bored and got nothin to do. may sound crazy or schizophrenic to others, but we all have our unique ways of dealing with different stuff in life that may be weird to others n i can care less.

Keep yourself busy with your occupation, whatever it is.
utilize internet and your other routine parts of life (GYM, music listening, library, parks, nature goin, etc) the best way u can to fill your time and believe me the amount of dopamine your brain will produce out of all these favorite activities will cancel out that loneliness and nostalgia that u may feel at times. thats just how i cope, u may find it in your bible or any other method. good luck and nice meetin some "lonely freak" like me-self!(yeah, public views us as sort of freaks when u tell them u got no friends)

:warm handshake:

[epilepticme]

Hey there NoDrugs4Me!

Granny (St0rmCrow) gave some advice the other day on how to meet someone to score weed from. I think that what she said was basically to go out and do stuff that cool headier people do.

What are your interetests mate?

I enjoy outdoor activities so I joined the local fish and game club. Where I have met some great friends. I am also interested in Spirituality, so I hang out in the spirituality section at borders... Get the point?

If you get out there and live life you will meet people.

There is also the possibility of therapy or counseling to help you get through these issues.

The bottom line is the only way to make a change is to make the change!

Peace and Light