i dont even know what to fucking do anymore

my family is constantly fighting...all we do is scream and push and hit and curse and repeat...my house is so full of drugs and alcohol it disgusts me, my life as of now has been a fucking dayze...all i do is smoke to escape my shitty life...which just makes it worse....watching tv makes me cry becuase of the happy people...my relationships suffer because i dont have the ability to develop feelings towards people because ive been in a stoned dayze for months...i support my habbit by selling, which makes me feel guilty becuase it is immoral, and unethical....but if i stopped smoking pot all that would do is make me endure my shitty life sober and full of emotion feeling every last bit of pain rushing through my fucking veins

my girlfriend...shes great...she makes me happy...but i dont love her...i cant love her...the pot wont let me...the after effects of MJ mixed with my body leave me in a sort of semi-stoned feeling for about 3 days...and i cant begin to feel for people when im like that....

i always hurt her on accident..i always say all of the wrong things...and i always do all the wrong things...i feel like i dont even have a purpose on this earth, like im just a lightbulb waiting to be burnt out...when im done im done and forgotten, and even when i was there no one respected me, no one even really cared or payed attention to me....ive tried everything to fix my life, but i always seem to fuck it up worse...im done trying...i dont fucking care...im just going to sit here and wait for death to rub its cold fingers over my body and suck the life from me like so many hits ive taken from pipes...

dont fear the reaper...we can be like they are...dont fear the reaper...
koshea Reviewed by koshea on . my life is so fucked up i dont even know what to fucking do anymore my family is constantly fighting...all we do is scream and push and hit and curse and repeat...my house is so full of drugs and alcohol it disgusts me, my life as of now has been a fucking dayze...all i do is smoke to escape my shitty life...which just makes it worse....watching tv makes me cry becuase of the happy people...my relationships suffer because i dont have the ability to develop feelings towards people because ive been in a stoned dayze Rating: 5