wow you have a overload of info my freind, I think there was some good advice coming at you tho, I wish you were here then I could explain my self to you better, for iam not a good typer or speller lol.... but I,ll put my 2cents in if you get this far and read it.
I was married for 20 years and I could talk for hours about how much I have learened sence my wife left me 5 years ago, after 20 years of marrage I found out my wife was leaving me over the phone. she did not have the courage to tell me face to face, and man it felt like a train hit me, I was so hurt man, I mean she just tore me up inside, I dont want to ever go through that again, and like I said before I could talk for hours about how much I have learened about myself, and her sence we divorced. But iam just going to say this one thing because I think it is VERY important, and that is communication, communication. it is so important that you both just sit down and talk things out, dont fight are get angery. if you are both feeling anger, then step back and agree to talk when the air has cooled, let her tell you how she feels, let her get her fears out into the air, understand how she feels, and what she wants from her marrage, and then flip the coin over and tell her how you feel about her, yourself, and what you want from life and your marrage. my ex wife never told me how she really felt about things in her life, she was the kind of person who just put on a happy face and stuffed everything in side, so everything that I did in those 20 years of are marrage, if she was mad at me for somthing, she would not tell me, she would just smile and say everthing was fine and I would be in the dark, not knowing that what I did are did not do was somthing that she did not like, but you know what happens after 20 years of stuffing your feelings? you exployed. and that is what she did. everyday I live with regret, knowing that if I had only know what were the things that she did not like, are what was it that was bothering her, we could have just set down and talk,talk, talk. because she was my wife and I was her husband, and we could have been such better freinds, I know we could have worked through all the promblems, if I had only knowen what was really going on in her head. when you have a promblem you feel so much better when you let it out, talk it over, work towards the common good. I think the only reason we made it as long as we did was because we did love each other, and we had a good sex life. but even a good sex life cant save a marrage, when there is a break down in commication...so hang in there and let each other talk about there concerns, there fears, and what is it that I can do to make you a happer wife or husband. this is your marrage share it with each other...good luck and I hope you both find that happy middle ground.....God bless.