JSN9333, ive read your posts since very long ago, when you first commented about some problems you and your wife were having on your intimate life, and i remember much of your other posts too.

I must say that your last post surprised me very much. Today its very hard to find people with such amounts of faith and belief in any religion. I congratulate you for keeping your faith, and even more after having so much troubles caused by misguided "religious" leaders, like the ones from the church you mentioned. I think they usually do more harm than good to Christianism, as they make people hate it. Im very glad that you didnt left Christianism after going such church (what happens with many many people).

But i must say that even the strictest "rules" of Christianims has their reason to exist. Of course, the reasons are not so simple as "This is wrong because God decided so", but they are very deep, and need a lot of spiritual awareness to be understood, which many of this "religious" leaders have not, and so they only keep repeating and trying to enforce this "rules" because they were taught to do so, but they just dont know the reasons of the existence of this "rules".

Anyway... while i dont know very much what to say about your situation, as im single and its long since ive been in a relationship, i think i could give a bit of advice.
You said that you dont plan leaving your wife. I think its a very good decision of you. From what youve said it seems she didnt have any "first hand" experience with God, but was just "brainwashed" by her religion. I think its pretty bad, and probably its the reason why she seems so "mad". Being forced to follow a lot of strict rules without knowing and undertanding the reason for it can drive anyone pretty insane in the long run. So, as you seems to have a good relationship with God, i would advice you to ask Him to show Himself to her, to make her experience Him, not as a lot of rules and commandements, but in the same way He showed Himself to you, so she would understand and follow Him knowingly and by its own wish, as you do.

Also, i would advice you to dont try to convince her by words, but by action. When my parents married, my dad was very Catholic, and my mom Protestant. She was very worried about this, then she asked her minister and he said her she should not open her mouth to preach for him, but only show him the truth of her faith by her actions. And so she did. She never preached to my dad, but only lived and behaved as a firm believer. And it worked. Several years later, my dad had an experience with God, left the Catholicism and entered a Protestant church, of which he, my mom and sister are members now.

So, i would say for you to keep smoking, but dont try to convince her to smoke, or that its not bad, or whatever. She should notice the benefits of your smoking from your atitude, and from the changes (for better) it would bring to you. Also, i noticed that smoking can bring a lot of spiritual awareness, so it would be good for you to think about spiritual things when stoned, cause doing so you would increase very much you spirituality and wisdom. What would be, of course, very useful.

And, most important of all, i would say for you to ask Gods direction in everything you do, cause He is the one who knows all the ways, and while you were following His direction you will be doing always the best, for you and for everyone around you. Even if His directions were a bit "weird", or uncomprehensible, follow them, cause His sight reaches way far then ours, and so He knows better than us which is the better way to tread on.