This is tough.

That post above me, although only my opinion, is terrible advice. *when i started writing this...post #2 was the post above me...not Image reaper's)

I'll be as concise as i can.

I grew up in a VERY strict Christian home. My mom and step dad are religious FANATICS. They have no friends...not even christian friends because they are so over zealous they scare everyone away. They raised my sister and i that way. In grade school, we would have halloween parties where kids would pass out candy in the class...my mom made me hand out christian tracts (little brochures explaining the salvation process and the consequences of rejecting Christ) And i would have to sit there and listen to kids read them to each other and laugh.

My biological father has refused all religion since i was born. My mom and stepdad had me convinced he was going to hell and when i was about 7 years old i tried to 'witness' to him and save his soul because mom and step dad scared the ever living shit out of me. I cried and was so afraid for my dad...and he thought it was the most fucked up thing ever and all of my parents had a huge fight.

So we have gone to countless churches that we become heavily involved in and then the church eventually splits over some bullshit doctrine and we are out on our asses looking for a new 'perfect' church family.

So I am Spiritually/Religiously fucked up thanks to my mom and step dad. They wouldn't let me listen to any worldly music, watch movies, etc.

come Middle school i started rebelling. It started with music and new friends. In high school i started smoking weed and that's when it all started turning around.

I have embraced christian teachings and values since birth. why? because i had no other choice. I would even go far enough to say i was 'spiritually abused' if that exists....

Basically my view is this. religion as a whole is like saying "which comic book do you subscribe to?" because it is all as fantastic and irrational and supernatural as the next religion. Who says Christianity is the way? a bunch of white conservatives trying to beat everyone into submission...And it's the same for any other religion. So as of late (past 2 years) i have said fuck all of it. And i gotta tell ya, life has been SWEET since then. Basically, Cannabis is my religion. Everything is from the earth. Everything will some day return to the Earth, whether by catastrophe or natural process. Weed helps bring me back to earth. Not like i was in space, but it gets my mind out of the "Make money, buy tons of shit, expand, exploit..." and all that other consumerism/capitalism american bullshit. starting to rant...i'll get back to it.

My wife is very much the same way. She grew up in a christian home, much more relaxed that mine, but she understands the principles.

we got married when we were 21 and didn't wait for marriage to have sex. We knew each other inside and out before we got married. We knew every disgusting habit, every crack of humor, every annoying thing about each other. Marriage was not a commitment involving GOD, or any other bullshit. It was a commitment between the greatest female i have ever dreamed of and myself. Our wedding day was the lowest point of our marriage because it has only gotten better since then.

We both use cannabis on a daily basis. we both love it and we both are involved in growing it. Our two lives are literally one.

I am sorry that you and your wife aren't seeing eye to eye. If i still believed in prayer i would pray for you, you will be in my thoughts. I think you did the right thing being honest with her. I'm sure it was a hard pill for her to swallow. There may not be any reconciliation. All the lifestyle changes in our lives were made together and somewhat gradually, hand in hand, side by side. i couldn't imagine trying to spring something like this.

I don't know you or your wife, but it sounds hectic. From what you described, all the pills and hand guns sound rather theatrical. She probably has no idea how to react to this so outrageous and irrational makes the most sense to her. More than likely she wants to hurt herself to get back at you, teach you a lesson. Don't give in to that shit. It has nothing to do with you and don't blame yourself for anything that happens. Do your best to talk about it as much as possible, relate to her and try to be kind. Show her you are still the same guy she met long ago, but things just aren't making as much sense as they did back in the day.

Use your head, you sound pretty straight. I wouldn't up and leave, divorce is a big deal (religious or not). If she's a good girl then stick it out, it's not easy. I just hope you can tell when there is no hope and don't drag out the inevitable.

I'm not trying to sway you from your beliefs. But maybe it's time to question why you believe what you do. It's so liberating when you find a new state of mind and spirit. I believe that this life is pretty much what you get, so make the best of it. There's bumpy parts, but nothing that YOU, YOURSELF, can't get through. If believing in God and asking for his/help gets you through...so be it, but know that the outcome would be the same if you had a lucky rabbits foot.

sheesh...what a mouthful. i could go on forever but i may be starting to babble. Be honest with her, be honest with yourself. Cannabis is NOT WRONG...it's only illegal because some asshole said it. That's all.

Good luck. I genuinely care. keep me posted.

Skeet
elskeetro Reviewed by elskeetro on . Told My Wife Yesterday That I Burn (Quick Background, for those of you who missed a post of mine earlier in the year: My wife and I were both "born and raised ultra-conservatives" who got married a couple years ago. We didn't sleep with each other before getting married, and have experienced a whole lot of sexual, intimacy, and emotional incompatibility. We make good friends, but horrible lovers. It's just been fucked up. But anyway, I subsequently became a bit more liberal and started to smoke pot, without telling her Rating: 5