(Quick Background, for those of you who missed a post of mine earlier in the year: My wife and I were both "born and raised ultra-conservatives" who got married a couple years ago. We didn't sleep with each other before getting married, and have experienced a whole lot of sexual, intimacy, and emotional incompatibility. We make good friends, but horrible lovers. It's just been fucked up. But anyway, I subsequently became a bit more liberal and started to smoke pot, without telling her since I didn't need do deal with her shit. I initially started as a means to escape some of the problems were were having. I have since realized that cannabis should by no means be illegal, etc. and have decided I need to be 100% honest with her.)

Anyway. I told her yesterday that I have started smoking/vaporizing sometimes on the weekends and that it is going to be a permanent lifestyle change. She flipped out. She started hyperventilating, and went and sat near my corner of our bedroom where I keep my .357 Magnum handgun. She wouldn't respond to anything I said to try to calm her down, she just stared into nowhere hyperventilating. At one point she threw up, which I was able to catch in my shirt. She then went and talked about how she wanted to "go to sleep" and tried to take like 20 Tylenol PM. I didn't buy it, and didn't try to stop her. She acted like she threw up the second she put them in her mouth and spit them all in the sink. I think it was all an act to get me to promise not to smoke in order to stop her. But who knows.

Anyway, she told me to get out of the house. I told her I'd be happy to. Then as I was packing my things and getting ready to call the cops (for fear she'd destroy some of my more expensive things while I was at my car) and she stopped me and started talking again. She kept asking me to promise not to smoke again and crying and shit. I told her I wasn't going to do that.

She told me it upset her that I'd be happy to leave. I told her I find my happiness in God, not in her or anyone else. I told her I'd rather not leave, but if I have to then I'd find peace in that. I told her maybe she wouldn't be so miserable if she pursued her relationship with God more. (She hasn't prayed in a long time, I guess she is sort of like one of those nominal Christians who just go to church and try to be good and think that is all that is involved in a relationship with God). I asked her if she'd ever prayed about if marijuana is evil or bad, asking for God to help bring her to the right conclusion (through study, or the Bible, or whatever). She said no. I said maybe she should do that instead of just listening to what dumb-ass pastors say about it, and she agreed. I guess I didn't marry a *complete* idiot.

We then had a talk about why it isn't such a bad drug, and how my using it would be no different then how I responsibly drink beer or wine or whatever now and again. Actually, it would be even less "dangerous" then alcohol. She said she doesn't think anything should be used to escape reality, and that especially since it is illegal it should just be avoided. I told her the laws are bullshit and that this country has a long history of horrible laws.

I also told her that the fucking TV she watches all fucking evening every night is as much or more of an "escape from reality" as any drug I use. I hate that thing, and I always ask her to turn it off and she never does. So finally, just to end the bullshit since I was hungry and emotionally drained and just wanted to go eat lunch in peace, I agreed that we would talk more about it in the coming days. I agreed that I wouldn't smoke any pot for the time being as long as she didn't watch any TV, and we would talk more about it.

I am not going to give in to her on this issue... so we'll see how it goes. Honestly, I would've divorced her a year ago except I strongly believe in the commitments two people make with each other at the altar. The way I see it, I asked her to marry me and I agreed to not have sex before we were married... so I am responsible for this and I just have to own up to the situation I put myself in. To women like her, divorce is worse then killing them... and I just don't think I can do that to her given my responsibility in creating the situation we're in.

So... we'll see how this works out. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers (if you are a believer in a Higher Being) or feel free to give advice, etc.

best,
jsn9333
jsn9333 Reviewed by jsn9333 on . Told My Wife Yesterday That I Burn (Quick Background, for those of you who missed a post of mine earlier in the year: My wife and I were both "born and raised ultra-conservatives" who got married a couple years ago. We didn't sleep with each other before getting married, and have experienced a whole lot of sexual, intimacy, and emotional incompatibility. We make good friends, but horrible lovers. It's just been fucked up. But anyway, I subsequently became a bit more liberal and started to smoke pot, without telling her Rating: 5