What can I say... this is a very strange day for me. I could not relax until I examined the rest of the batch for signs of bud rot/mold. Let me just first say that my paranoia was not unwarranted. I found a bud with an obvious white patch... and while viewing under 100x I noticed dense web-like structures. I have this pit in my stomach. I'm pretty much considering it a total loss for the moment. Even though it is split between 3 bags... I refuse to pick through to find un-tainted material.

I'm at a loss here folks... I've been in this game for awhile and I've never felt quite like this. I feel confused... somewhat played... and to be honest, afraid. I'm thinking back to a couple thousand times that I smoked with a stranger and noticed an "off" tasting bud. Or when I was young and could care less what it looked like... if it smoked... it got smoked.

I have this pit in my stomach...

I honestly feel that my relationship with Cannabis has just been dramatically changed in the course of a few hours. I know that there is perfectly clean and delicious bud out there just waiting for me to enjoy... but for the moment I don't even feel safe smoking it unless I grew it. I feel like I'm going to fucking cry over here. I would have blindly ripped through these few ounces in a month or so... and then got more... and then more...

I'm too sick with other shit to be having panic attacks over the safety of my buds. Without this site... I would have never questioned a thing. Obviously once I reached that bud with visible mold I would have freaked... but that's IF I noticed it. I couldn't even see the other shit without the scope.

I don't know... all I can say is that I have ounces of bud that I refuse to smoke. I'm in a bad place here CannCom. For the first time in about 10-12 years I'm going to have to stop smoking. This shit wouldn't fucking happen if we had regulations behind all of this. I apologize if this rambles... but I'm kinda losing it over here.

Feel like I'm going to pass out...