Sorry to hear about your father. It's good to know that the site helps out a bit. All I can tell you, as a ex-victim in the cruel dating world , I can say this... you hit the nail directly on the head with this line:
Quote Originally Posted by SnSstealth
I dont know how to be an asshole and from my experience that seems to be what gets girls interested.
Yes, you will find GIRLS at bars.... You may find an actual WOMAN, but she is going to be so jaded from the bar scene that you have a major uphill battle. I can't support Stinky's suggestions enough. You can only expect to find a partner with similar interests if you meet at places.... well... that interest you! I would never imagine going to a bar to meet a match... not just because I have a girlfriend... but because I don't drink :jointsmile:. I also never enjoyed the social aspect of loud, drunken conversation. Book clubs, garden clubs, volunteer work are all great places to meet "cool" chicks. Females there are also not walking around with that barrier that they need when trying to survive in a bar or club. Helps let you comfortably break the ice. Women are also much less threatened by a new male face when the introduction is done during the day... making bars that much more difficult.

MEET during the day
GO OUT at night :thumbsup:

But yeah... with all the crazies running around nowadays... women are much more defensive with strangers. You should have the first encounter NOT be one of a romantic interest. Let it develop. Seriously, if those other "girls" would make gestures and lead you on, only to want friendship... GOOD FOR YOU. Sounds like a bunch of future head games you missed out on... and that's a GOOD thing!!