Eh man, don't sweat it TOO much. I'm real sorry to hear about your dad though. Be careful not to let the various sources of pain or unhappiness in your life get all piled up all at once and start feeling like they are overwhelming. Try to deal with each individually.
You don't have to be an asshole to meet a nice girl, promise. My standard response to this complaint, that I hear from a lot of NICE men, is that you are probably putting yourself in physical situations where girls expect assiness. Like bars. In those situations, it's quite likely you'll end up meeting chix with issues of their own- insecurity being one big pitfall to avoid- and if you're complaining of stupid shallow drunk girls, ummm.... lol!!!! I always tell people they need a change of scene/scenery for all that good meeting new friends stuff.
Make a list of the shit you like to do, that it's possible to do socially, and then go through thte list and look up local events that are related to those interests. Heck, try something new! Dating in your 30s is TOTALLY a different scene from dating in your early 20s. Everyone is so set in their ways, and you need more than ever before to find someone whose lifestyle is compatible with yours, before you even wonder if you're going to get jiggywiddit later. Join a freaking softball team, lol!! Cheesy but classic. Of course I keep forgetting you guys are in FL. Isn't a lot of the outdoor stuff a bit of a sausage fest down thurrrrr? What about a kayaking club? The ladies will be all up ons in no time