*Is it too late for me to turn into a girl? I always wanted to be lesbian

*Christmas dinner... Have you ever had a family Christmas dinner where somebody didn't say something really ignorant (especially after a dose of deadly killer Riesling)

*Pot has been good for my reflexes because I drop a lot of things, but I've learned to catch almost anything in mid-air.

*Mom called one day and said, "they caught a man walking down the street with two garbage sacks full of marijuana. That wasn't you, was it?"

*to Kr1Nx01 -- Does your avatar mean hemp? I looked it up, and got either the citrus oil "limonene" or the fiber plant "ramie." I vote for "ramie"=hemp.

*At first glance, "didn't inhale" sounds really stupid, but he got away with it, and after all, he wasn't expecting US to believe it (just yer mom).

*Sure, my parents remarks are dumb, but you should hear some of the shit I handed them!