Chivalry is dead, and women killed it.

[birdgirl73]

DaBudha, before you go accusing folks of insulting you, you might want to have someone else read your original thread back to you aloud so you can see if you can hear how it sounded.

Trust me, it was offputting. Particularly the remark about someone deserving a swift punch in the jaw but also the parts where you editorialized about sexism and equality. And now you don't like that. I even got a note from one of the guy moderators saying could "smell the misogyny" in your comments, so it wasn't just women who took you that way.

Seriously, take a step back and conduct yourself a little independent focus group on that original post by having an objective bystander, maybe one of each gender, to give you their candid responses. You asked for people to respond with their opinions and that's what happened. It didn't appear to any of the rest of us on the mod team that you got anything more in response than some candid opinions. If you'd gotten all-out flamed in response, we would indeed have responded. We get a lot of this here. People tell others what they think and then yell "insult" when they don't like what people say, but a personal insult is not the same thing as what you received in those responses. The comment that came closest to meriting the deletion of the thread for moderation reasons was your original post.

You're not going to be infracted or banned for expressing what you did at the top or bottom of this thread, nor is anyone who responded. But if you're not liking what you're hearing, you might want to take a step back before you post further opinions. On this thread specifically you'd probably do well to stop while you're ahead.

[ipodguy]

I was idly surfing the boards when I saw the thread on Affirmative Action. In essence it was a thread on equality and fairness and what have you. That made me think about another instance of inequality in our society.

I'm speaking, of course, about the division of men and women. I will freely admit that I frequently have my moments of EXTREME sexism, but I feel that that's largely because I haven't met too many really intelligent women or women that really have anything exciting or interesting to say. I don't make this generality about all women, because I HAVE met some extraordinary ones; just very few.

Anyway, I titled this thread as such because I wanted to get an idea from women on the boards about how they view equality between men and women. I am very aware of the salary discrepancies and military service issues. Women asked to be treated equally, and they largely are. However, I see allllllllllllll the time how woman still want to be treated differently. As "women" they say. Bull. Shit. You want to play both sides of the game and you know it.

"Be romantic." No. Know why? Guys hate it. If I wouldn't be romantic with my best friend, I sure as shit probably won't be romantic with you.

"Why don't you treat me like a woman anymore?" Uhh....because you asked not to be?

Now, this is all my personal opinion, but I firmly believe that whenever a woman invokes that special right of equality, but then turns around and wants me to do something special for them, they deserve a swift punch in the jaw.

Please, give me your opinions. If nothing else this should make for some very interesting arguments.

As a guy with both lesbian parents and an amazing girlfriend I would like to give my opinion on your post.

First of all, I have to agree with Birdgirl when she said you come off a little hateful against women when you say you have never met an intelligent woman and also when you said you would punch a woman in the jaw.

Secondly, you go on to generalize all men when you say that no man likes to be romantic with his significant other. While this may be alright for you, I happen to love being romantic with my girlfriend and I believe I speak for the both of us when I say that we both enjoy being romantic with each other.

Now as far as equality goes I believe its all about choice. When you said you would never be romantic with your best friend I believe that he would thank you for that because that would involve a serious life CHOICE for you. I choose to be romantic with my girlfriend and not with my best friend because I choose to be heterosexual and I believe that this has nothing to do with equality between men and women.

As far as salaries drafts being equal between sexes, I think there is still a long way to go.

[GreenDestiny]

GD....Your "tangent note" makes me think "what you are offering" that women don't seem to find attractive is the viewpoint stated right there.

Guess what....we're NOT all about the sex organs.....surprise!!

Primary function of mammary glands is milk production. The fact that they're very sensitive to stimulation for sexual arousal is just a fringe benefit. Ears, neck, lips, legs, and other body parts are also sensitive for sexual arousal but those don't get censored unless you're in some backwards oppressive society. Since breasts have no relevant part in actual sexual reproduction, they're not really sex organs; they're just one of the several body parts sensitive for sexual arousal. Nothing taboo about that, it's something to be thankful for and proud of.

Sometimes I really think I should be in a hippy nudist colony.

I've got nothing against a woman wanting to enhance the shape of breasts or hold them in place. But if they don't care about their freedom of choice to go totally topless if they really wanted to, it's just one more hurdle for them towards equality. And I have dated girls that share those views.... us youngins aren't so old-skool heheheh.

(didn't mean to jack the thread, was just replying to WH.)

[DaBudhaStank]

Is there a difference between hitting a man or a woman in the face? I ask you.

[NaughtyDreadz]

Is there a difference between hitting a man or a woman in the face? I ask you.

uh... when I hit a man in the face, they NEVER ask for more...

women on the other hand...

giggidy giggidy, giggidy goo............

[rebgirl420]

Frankly, DaBudha, I think the problem you're having with women is not because of equality or your problems with that or with a lack of extraordinary women. The problem is because you're obnoxious. That comment above pretty well gave it away.

Doing something special for your girlfriend or spouse is a two-way street. My husband treats me nicely because he loves me and wants to. He opens doors, pulls out my chair, goes out of his way to say nice things, sends flowers, etc. But he doesn't have that market cornered. I do stuff for him, too. Cook for him. See that his house and clothes are clean. See that he's happy and healthy and well loved. Put love notes and gifts in his briefcase so he'll find them once he gets to his office. Do you ever look at the other side of that equation in your relationships? Somehow I'm doubting it.

Chivalry isn't dead in all man or in all people. And chivalrous behavior is not a matter of equality anyway. It's about courtesy and kindness and going out of your way for someone else. That ought to be something that both people in a relationship do gladly and without hesitation.

When you get the chip off your shoulder and work on those moments of "extreme sexism" that you mentioned, you may find that you'll suddenly find more extraordinary and intelligent women than you realized existed. Right now, I'd bet a year's pay they give you a very wide berth.

THANK YOU.

[GreenDestiny]

Is there a difference between hitting a man or a woman in the face? I ask you.

really no difference at all....

but violence IS violence. and violence is wrong, unless it is a last resort attempt to save yourself from danger.

[stinkyattic]

If you hit someone smaller than you are, that makes you a bully. So unless you are 5'2 with a 6'4 girlfriend, who you still shouldn't hit because you happen to LIKE her, just like you wouldn't hit your OTHER friends, at the VERY LEAST that would make you a bully. Which wasn't cool in kindergarten and isn't cool now.
No one intends to ban you, but I can still think you don't have this whole equality thing figured out.
This is one sentence I had a hard time understanding:
However, if you ever ask me to do something I wouldn't do for you, one of our asses is on the curb, and I don't particularly mind if it's mine, because at least I would be away from hypocrisy.
I think you meant 'if you ask me to do something you wouldn't do for me'. You never stated that in your original post, and anything my BF would do for me, I'd be delighted to return the favor. I ask him to come help my sister move, I'll be happy to help his best buddy move next weekend. That's not chivalry, that's just being a good neighbor! You seem to make it out to be a BAD thing that a woman can turn around and help a man... Geez.
I guess I just don't get it.

[Weedhound]

Stinky there's nothing to get. He's got problems and feels ok blaming the opposite sex for them. GD there is the same.....only a bit more subtle.

They're angry that they can't control themselves and their stone age thoughts about women. That's obviously womens' fault.

There's an old saying from the TV Murphy Brown and it goes like this which is exactly along the same line these guys are playing. "Men still wouldn't know how to stand up straight if stores hadn't started putting beer on the top shelves."

Who they are shows in what they state. Simple.

[Breukelen advocaat]

In order for the human race to survive, and evolve, protection of the children and females was necessary. It is a genetic trait for men to do this.

When I was young, I was told by my mother that when walking with a lady, a gentleman takes the street side of the sidewalk. I later learned that this goes back to olden times, when horses and animals were often in the street. Some women who are comfortable with themselves are still charmed by these token acts of chivalry.