First off, you and your Dad need to talk! Preferably without anyone else being around. You are both adults- act like it! Roll a fattie and talk! Tell him it isn't his fault that you smoke- you made your own informed decision!

You said that you are a responsible user, so aside from the legal issues, where is the problem? Does he freak if you drink a beer? Why does he feel he is a failure, if you do what he does? What is his relationship with your grandfather like? That may also play into this situation. His fear being of an inadequate father came from somewhere.

He needs to accept you as an adult (it's tough, been there) and you need to reassure him that he has been a more than adequate father.

Your brother is another story! I work in education, and most of the 13/14 year olds that I know smoke, have ADD, ADHD or other learning disabilities. How are your brother's grades? I wonder if he may be self-medicating? It's pretty common. (check the link in my sig)

14, in most cases, is a bit young to start toking, but I had one ADHD kid failing badly, but then he apparently got hold of a good connection. He would come to school some days, just REEKING, and he did his best work on those days. :thumbsup: (The teacher and I just would look at each other, shake our heads and say nothing.) I think that the pot slowed him down enough that he could think. Between the pot and my tutoring, he passed 8th grade by the skin of his teeth!

But really I think your best line of action is to get your relationship with Dad back on track first, then deal with baby brother's situation with Dad as your ally and friend.

-Granny:hippy: