I read your post and on the medical side and how society treats it, how you feel about it and feel; could have written myself. Think I'd would leave a few things out.

I have and am experiencing the exact same thing as you and could not understand more. Can.com, is saving my life--people seem to really understand here. With pain that is so bad, nothing ever entirely relieves it. You get worn down, period! Like you said, you can hardly commit to things, because you don't know if you can do it. I lost most of my friends that way, they do not understand. It feels like you have not one friend in the world when you have so much pain you can't get out to meet people and do things!

I just tell people up front, I am unreliable. That sucks, I pride myself in the opposite.

I spent today looking for places and/clubs-etc. that have similar interests thinking, I should go out and meet people on a regular basis-at least be around them.

You think so much like me, it is scary! But, I don't have to worry, my grammar and spelling have slumped to zip with PC's and my own laziness!

Also, I am learning how to grow my on mmj! I think I need a hobby, I can get my hands dirty in. I am excited about it. I am just going to jump out there and hope my pain will let me and know that the results will help me make many more gardens!!!

It sounds to me like you are very depressed due to loneliness! Phone never rings, no-one knocks on door--you hear things, but see no-one, except the grocer!

DO YOU HAVE A PET? Get one if you do not! Mine is stuck in a relationship legal nightmare and I haven't seen them in months and the lawyers don't find it important. When I had my little pet, I did not feel like this! And perhaps a lot of my feelings is due to not having my pet. Foolishly, I let someone have visitation and can't get them back without a court of law, literally!

Little pets love you unconditionally and look forward to see you wake up. When you walk in a room, they light up like they haven't seen you in weeks. IT FEELS GOOD, WARMS YOUR HEART AND MAKES YOU FEEL LOVED AND NEEDED, we all do.

The people on this site, I feel know most have medical pain of some sort and try to be nice and helpful all the time. I find it compassionate. It pulled me out of a funk when I found it. Then I was ill and off line for a couple of weeks and found myself, feeling exactly like you. After a few days on line here, I hope I'll feel better. Plus, I am going to see my Dr. about it--never hurts to make sure it isn't from a metabolic problem or something else! So, go to your GP for a visit and let it know how you are feeling!

Hope you are still feelings things, since you seemed to have dropped off. Now, I'll be looking daily for you!:hippy::hippy: