The Joke Thread

[budice]

a obese man walks into a chemist. "can i have 1 bottle of cough syrup and 1 pack of asprin please?"

the female sales assistant groans and replies "oo,you remind me of john travolta"

the man replies "ooo FUCK off!!this is FAT,not grease!"

.......................

(lame joke alert)

if the answer is "cock robin" what was the question?
"whats that up my asshole,batman?"

[WeeeeeBong]

(lame joke alert)[I]

That should have been in the title not at the end heheh

[budice]

no it should be written on your gravestone,fuckface.

[WeeeeeBong]

I love you too

[Lulu]

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the largest breasts

[Lulu]

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.

Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

[neilmcca]

Anyone for a Chinese take-away ?

[stonerneedsrealweed]

Police picked up two kids yesterday, one was eating fireworks, the other was drinking battery acid....










They charged one, and let the other off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh oh ha ha ha ha oh oh lmao lmfao that is so stoner stupid

[kevy cola2]

wow, I can't beleive this thread is still kicking

what's the differance between your father and a picnic table?
>
>
a picnic table can support a family of four

[kevy cola2]

oh shit, I used that one long ago. All right this one's kinda racist

q:What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
a:Father's Day