One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.

Devil: Why so glum?

Guy: Why do you think? I'm in Hell!

Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Devil: Well, You're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do. Drink, Drink, Drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Mt. Dew. We drink until we throw up and then drink some more.

Guy: Wow, that sounds great.

Devil: You a smoker?

Guy: Yeah , you better believe it.

Devil: All right ! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smooke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay.... you're already dead.

Guy: No Way!

Devil: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Yeah, I do.

Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horseraces, you name it. We even opened a Pai Gai Poker table.

Guy: I never played that before.

Devil: Well now you can.

Guy: Cool....

Devil: You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love drugs! You don't mean...

Devil: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of your head. Do all the drugs you want. If you overdose, It's Okay... you're already dead.

Guy: Alright! I never realized that Hell was such a swinging place!

Devil: So.... are you gay?

Guy: Uh, no....

Devil: Ooooh (grimaces), you are gonna hate Fridays!