Sorry, these are very, very bad !?



Two fish swim into a concrete wall.

One turns to the other and says "dam"

**********

Two peanuts walk into a bar

One was a salted.

**********

A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

**********

A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says, "Sorry - we don't serve food in here."

**********

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

**********

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and

says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

**********

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.

The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant.

**********

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

**********

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'.

" That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"It's not unusual."

**********

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly:

"I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," said Dolly.

"It's true, no bull!"

**********

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm shorts.

The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

**********

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One says, "I've lost my electron."

The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

**********

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh#t before.

**********

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him".
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy"

**********

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.

**********

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh

********

Two fish are in a tank

One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"



sorry, sorry, sorry