A young woman goes to the vet with her alsation dog and explains what the problem is.

"Every time I bend over, he jumps on my back and, well, you know, does the business. Getting something out of the fridge, putting something in the bin, making the bed: every time I bend over, he's there humping away."

"I see" says the vet "I suppose you want him put down?"

"No, just clip his nails, please"