Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
> > > Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
> > > Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the
> > > night of April 1st?
> > > Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch
> > > on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the Porch
> > > and sat down beside me.
> > >
> > > Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
> > > Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
> > > Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
> > > Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
> > > Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
> > > Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
> > > Defense Attorney: Why not?
> > > Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abler died
> > > some 30 years ago.
> > > Defense Attorney: What happened next?
> > > Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.
> > > Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
> > > Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
> > > Defense Attorney: Why not?
> > > Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't
> > > felt that good in years!
> > > Defense Attorney: What happened next?
> > > Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling really "spicy" that I just
> > > laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"
> > >
> > > Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
> > > Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I
> > > shot him, the little bastard.