The Joke Thread

[neilmcca]

Hi all

Dunno if you can help but is anybody interested in a free cat?

A friend of mine is looking for a good home for his cat.
He said it's really lovable and friendly but his girlfriend said the cat
makes her nervous when it stares at her and she wants
it out of the house.

If you know of anyone, let me know.

The picture is attached.

Cheers,

Neil

[hunny]

lol neil that made me smile
need sum happyness in the world.......

[Fucked Up In Oregon]

lol

[PH4Sheezy]

IS THAT A REAL CAT!?!

[smokette]

Porsche for Sale

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to
scream, "Where did you get that car???!!!"
He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" demanded his
parents. "We know what a Porsche costs."
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."
So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that
for fifteen dollars?" they said.
"It was the lady up the street," said the boy." I don't know her
name--they
just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to
buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."
"Dear God," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows
what
she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."
So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived
and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced
himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for
fifteen
dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I
thought he was on a business trip, but it seems he has run off to Hawaii
with his secretary and doesn't intend to come back. He asked me to sell
his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."

[neilmcca]

IS THAT A REAL CAT!?!

i think it is a real cat, but maybe the photo is edited in some way ?
that is 1 scary moggy though

[neilmcca]

Q = Why do women have orgasm's during sex ?



A = It gives them something to moan about even when they're fucking loving it

[she dont lie]

lol

[nevertoomuch]

A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks "How will I recognize him?" That's easy. He's a midget with a speech impediment".

So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "She's a nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?" So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.

"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?" So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.

"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf?" The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nice mouf, can I see her twat?"

Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground....

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrase that;

Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?

[smokey]

heheheh i like tht