The Joke Thread

[neilmcca]

[gmantoker]

old mrs hubbard went to the cuboard to get her poor dog a bone
she bent over rover took over and gave her a bone of her own!

[MVilleToker]

lmao

[dog420]

lmao im gunna try drinking stella like that!!!! good 1

Peace

[dog420]

lmao again.....just got a text from hunny with this joke...

Posh spice decided to get her own back on David,,said she fucked micheal jackson,,he denied it and said he was in brooklyn at the time

Peace!

[Dope Chic]

DUI Enforcement

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible drunk drivers. At closing time he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.
The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered a Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy."

[nevertoomuch]

A guy and a gal meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his
hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again.

The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."

The guy, surprised, says, "Yes...how did you figure that out?"

"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."

One thing led to another and they make love. After they are done, the girl says, "You must be a really good dentist."

The guy, now with a boosted ego, says, "Well, yes, I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?"

"Didn't feel a thing!"

[smokey]

lmao again.....just got a text from hunny with this joke...

Posh spice decided to get her own back on David,,said she fucked micheal jackson,,he denied it and said he was in brooklyn at the time

Peace!

lmao she sent me the same txt faf init

[smokey]

Life with a woman is like a pack of cards;

u need a heart to love her
a diamond to marry her
a club to smash her fuckin head in
and a spade to bury the bitch

sorry it this offends anyone but i like it lol

[smokette]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."