The Joke Thread

[JunkYard]

This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After he picks out the perfect bike, the dealer tells him about an old biker trick that will keep the chrome on his new bike free from rust. The dealer tells him that all he has to do is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome before it rains, and everything will be fine. He happily pays for the bike and leaves.

A few months later, the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily accepts and the date is set. At the appointed time, he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break the silence and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes, the young man decides to speed things up, so he reaches over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he slips his hand under her blouse and fondles her breasts. Still no one says a word. Finally, he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. No one says a word.

Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws HER on the table. They have even wilder sex. Still no one speaks. By now he is thinking what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he gets his jacket, reaches in his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline. The father jumps to his feet, and says "Fuck it, I'll do the dishes!"

[eddievanzant]

A pig and a bear are taking a bath together and the bear says could you hand the soap and the pig says no soap, radio?

[eddievanzant]

dot dot dot...

[stonerneedsrealweed]

yo momma so stupid she thought sexual battery was something that you put in a dildoe

[stonerneedsrealweed]

I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spank the monkey better than me

http://rpatrick.com/more/spankmonkey/

what is ur record speed??????????????

[eddievanzant]

I got 629 MPH.

[kevy cola2]

What do you say if your T.V. starts floating off in the night?

Put down my tv n****r!

What did the black kid get for his birthday?
Your Bike!

[graymatter]

what do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslectic?

someone who stays awake all night wondering if there really is a doG

[Toffee]

hope u like