Completely not the place to make light of the ban situation, which is none of your business, WMLN. Do you have anything constructive to add here?

Illnill... have you identified triggers for the times you find yourself feeling out of control or melting down in anger or frustration? Make a list of those triggers. Carry a notebook- When you feel irrationally angry, immediately, before acting on it, write down what the situation was. Yup, you will have to leave the area and go somewhere private so that you avoid embarrassment, lol!! This is part of the point!
Now think about what had just happened. If you can envision the same situation, with maybe even a slight modification, where you did not, or would not, feel overwhelmed, note that as well. When you feel anxious, the very act of writing down your feelings in an unemotional way (if that makes sense?) may help you distance yourself and regain some composure. It will also give you a moment to think about how you want to proceed, before yelling or blowing up at anyone. Basically, you become your own shrink for a moment, looking at your emotions clinically and as objectively as possible.
I live with anxiety myself, which has in the past manifested as uncontrollable rage and approaching problems inappropriately- I have 2 felonies on my record that are a DIRECT result of that- and have been learning to control it by literally walking into another room and asking myself what LOGICAL reason there is for these feelings. Often there is a logical reason for irritation, or even anger, but not for rage- and I can tell by your writing style that you are an intelligent person who should be able easily to differentiate between the two, and choose a response that fits the situation. That is the important part- you must be able to CHOOSE how you react, and that takes some forethought.

I'm not sure what to tell you about how MMJ plays into all this. My experience has been that smoking at least once every 2-3 days knocks back the anxiety level to something liveable. Also, edibles last longer per dose and will get you through a whole night. Let me guess- you wake up in the middle of the night with severe anxiety/mild panic attacks, and can't get back to sleep? It's a snowball effect too- losing sleep makes the whole mess worse. Anything you can do to get on a consistent sleep schedule will be beneficial.

Another thing is to completely avoid alcohol, especially when you are already feeling vulnerable or stressed. It may help you sleep, but wears off too quickly for a full nights rest, and leaves behind a raw-er emotional state. I don't know if you drink; just sayin'.

Um, what else. Oh- mmj strains. Afghanis. Really. Avoid brickweed like the satanic plague visited upon anxious people that it is. But we will chat in the grow area no doubt.