This week on Survivor: Kindergarten...

Jeff Probst: I'm sorry. Alex. The tribe has spoken. Take your lunch pail and go.

Alex: I feel sad.

Probst: So what do you think of today's tribal council.

Alex: I'm not special.

Probst: Were you expecting such a powerful alliance to be organized by your teacher?

Alex: Huh?

Probst: Suzy, why did you vote the way you did?

Suzy: Teacher said Alex had ass burgers.

Probst: Timmy, why did you join the anti-Alex alliance?

Timmy: Is it nap time yet?

Probst: Miss Portillo, why did you feel it was so important to vote Alex out of the class today?

Portillo: That little punk was making my life HELL! He needed to be taught that he is NOTHING! I'll keep voting kids out of this class until I am the only one left if I have too! These rotten little brats need to learn that school is not about them! School is about survival, and I will do what I have to do in order to survive!