Better get these kids married off before the authorities want them back!

Yearning for Zion --- should be called Yearning for Jailbait.

Imagine a YFZ groom giving a speech at his wedding.

"Well, I just wanted to say a few things to my new bride. Honey, you know I've had a lot of brides in my 50 years, but I just wanted to tell you you're something really extra special. I still remember that day 12 years ago that your mama brought you home and I first saw you there in your crib, and I made a promise to you, If Jesus is willing, I'll have sex with you before you develop breasts or pubic hair. And now that the day is here, I can't wait to get you out of your long-sleeve, neck-to-toe Little House on the Prairie dress and see if I got you in time. Aunt Susy and Uncle Jeb, I want to thank you for blesssing me with your little girl's hand in marriage, and I promise to give you 5 new grandchildren and/or neices and nephews before your daughter is a legal adult. Speaking of which, is the wedding chapel bedding chamber ready?"