Talk to a doctor?
Most of the doctors and nurses around here are wired when they are flying around. Ask one of them but keep it in as little words as possible and they should be able to "prescribe" you something.
I've been in plenty of hospitals post-smoking ban where the place still stinks of smoke, theres always a little room somewhere where staff go for a drag. Not just nicotine.

Remember MOM is not the word.