jsn, I have to say I am sorry for the situation you are in. It must be difficult not having those who are supposed to love and support us shy away because we view cannabis as a blessing instead of a sin.

It honestly sounds like you're on the fence and almost have your mind made up; leaning more to one side than the other. You say you wouldn't lie to her so then why not just come out and tell her. Yes she'l be upset and yes she'll probably yell, or even leave you. Given that you're unhappy at this point in your marriage wouldn't it be better to just tell her? If she leaves you then you may have lost your wife but at least your friendship may still be salvagable. If you remain married and things continue downward then there may be no saving anything and could may make her have things be harder on you in the divorce proceedings (damn a womans scorn).

I commend you for trying to have this marriage work but I do not believe that all the morals the church tries to instill into society are for the best; even in gods eyes.

God wants all his children to be happy, being with someone whom makes you miserable is not what he wants. As a matter of fact this could lead to a real sin; adultery.

Things are going to be rough for a while; but try to keep the end game in sight. That's the key here. What happens now is such a small portion of the duration of our lives.

Live your entire life in misery or break free and live happily and true to yourself? Your choice; start by telling her and then take it 1 baby step at a time. If you can't be who you are by being married to her then you need to find that out NOW instead of later