that was a funny ass story. I couldn't stop myself from bursting into laughter while I was in the middle of class. It actually got so bad that I couldn't finish it in class, I had to step outside so I can finish reading it in a different room. Anyway, i think you should trim your ass with a beard trimmer (though you would never be able to use it on your face again), like the other guy said. Even though you would loose a trimmer, I think in your case it'll actually be a good investment. I could imagine the pain you are enduring right now that your hair is barely growing back, but what can I say? Sometimes shit happens. Another tip i can offer my fellow smokers is, don't shave u're arm pits, the thing'll happen if you aren't careful.