I hate to say it, but its probably not going to work out if you have a problem with the concept of mind alteration. I also hate to say that I doubt she is smoking once or twice a month. You can either accept someones lifestyle or not. My wife doesn't care that I'm a smoker because it doesn't change me or her. I still clean up, go to work, and i'm nice to her so she doesn't care. Neither should you. Do you drink?? If you do you are a hypocrite for giving her a hard time about weed. Alcohol is much worse in my opnion.