Your fear of insanity and "lasting damage" or a permanent change in yourself is proof enough that you are in control in the cockpit and conscious of "yourself" and what your normal actually is...funny thing is, that is constantly & ever changing. When you question yourself and how you feel and why you feel that way, i.e. objectively evaluating yourself & reflecting on events along with their influence on you..this is the greatest proof & evidence of sanity. Yes, you are different now, like all powerful experiences in life. Did you really want to be exactly the same? Noway man. You also know to smoke a little bit less next time, you are learning. I can absolutely positively assure you that I have felt and went through the EXACT same thing you have described and am only a stronger person mentally for it..in fact, after going through shit like this for years and battling anxiety for so many years I have learned how to be so much stronger than 90% of the people that surround me in life..I have mental armor now that no evil or negativity can penetrate. Your reality is what you make of it, it's yours..take control & do not let it control you dude. Realize and appreciate that the human mind is the most powerful super computer in the universe and you can have full command of it, it is you. It's gonna ALL be ok, I promise man. Peace brother, now have a happy journey and be positive about your mental growth & development! :hippy:

ps - SMOKE A BIG FAT JOINT! :stoned: