My life has changed so drastically for the worse, if i had a choice i probably never had decided to go under the scapel. I had a very physical life, I'm a person that cannot sit still, i have to fix or built or clean something to satisfy my urge of accomplishment, a perfectionist i am. and ever since my accident its like being under house arrest, always just going to the doctors for pills, morphine refill or my depression seem to spiral downwards in a speed with no brakes. my mind never seem to stop thinking of the worse. Pains are so unbearable that i shake and a single tear can be felt on my face, and numerous times that i am on my knees pounding my back with my fists, glad that i am at home at those times...

Your thoughts of relaxation sound so good, i can feel or just smile at it of the thought of trying it, but hopefully soon enough, i maybe able to try those suggestions. but since kids are involve with me, i am seriously checking out vaporizers, much reading done so far, but i haven't come across on exactly how its done...