I struggle with the competition thing, too, Smoking Monkey. Always want to knock the top out in some way, usually grades but also in fitness, health, achieving physical goals, even silly stuff like getting chores done around the house. It's now like I've totally created a way to drive myself to achieve (really, I mean overachieve). The strange thing is it has mostly ceased for me to be about how others regard me when I achieve. It's something I've internalized so the expectations are my own of myself. When I was younger it still had more to do with what others thought.

I'm pretty sure that, for me, this only represents a little progress. I need to ease up on myself. I know that. I've known that for years. But I'm compelled to keep striving for perfection. A very good shrink once explained that that was really about low self-esteem instead of high. He said that once I had the confidence to know I could fail or falter or even just perform at a slightly lower level but feel reassured that I was still on track with my own expectations of myself, then I'd have made the true jump to sanity and peace.

I, of course, still drive myself onward and upward. That hasn't clicked into place with me yet. The whole it's-OK-to-falter thing, I mean. I despair that it never will. Frankly, when people are in the midst of medical school, I don't see how it does.

You must be the bravest person in the world for relinquishing school at the point you did! I happened upon that post not too long ago. I applaud you and am in awe of you. That couldn't have been easy.
birdgirl73 Reviewed by birdgirl73 on . Anxiety, Self-Doubt, and Perfectionism Question is not necessarily cannabis-related, but here goes. I am very anxious about what other people think of me and I'm very competitive, want to perform well, etc. I think this is called "Perfectionism" by a lot of psychologists. Sober, it makes me really high strung. High, it really kills my buzz! So in both cases... what are some things to help me reframe my attitude and get rid of my perfectionism?? It's a little different than anxiety. It's like a really specific anxiety Rating: 5