I've tried meditating, in fact my dad has been doing it every day since he was like 15 years old so I learned from him, but when i try to meditate it seem to use my minds filter to block EVERYTHING not just everday bullshit but just plain everything, learn to deal with my broken filter and learn from it, I want to understand what it is that I'm feeling. This lack of importance of life and feeling of a greater meaning, I think its what others would refer to as God or something but I can't even force myself to believe in "God" in the convetional sense but as just more of a divine truth not in the corporial sense but something much harder to grasp, its like I'm on the verge of either full blown enlightenment or full blown insanity if only there was a way to convey what I'm experiancing to everyone because I don't think literary mechanics or verbal expressions do it any justice whatsoever.

Well sorry to ramble on but I'm going to go to sleep now, I'll try and post some more tomorrow. See you all later! Bye!!!