Parenting Teenagers - I'm Busted!

[IncognitoDad]

I have always hidden my cannabis smoking from my kids for obvious legal reasons and because I don't want them smoking as adolescents as I did. I recently became too relaxed and smoked in our home and my step-son (17) has told his mom that he smelled marijuana a number of times (My wife of nearly two years is not happy with my cannabis use as I kept it hiddent from her - a post for another day). I'm busted and I am trying to figure out the best way to handle it: Never smoke in the house again; Argue that I can smoke in our house and continue (involves a discussion of legal questions (Canada-Ontario), health issues and questionable behaviour on his and others' parts (eg. downloading/buying new movies illegally; Quit smoking.

I would love to see some posts about how others have handled this. I am more likely to apologize and smoke elsewhere, but would love to see others' experiences.

IncognitoDad Reviewed by IncognitoDad on 03-02-2008. Parenting Teenagers - I'm Busted! I have always hidden my cannabis smoking from my kids for obvious legal reasons and because I don't want them smoking as adolescents as I did. I recently became too relaxed and smoked in our home and my step-son (17) has told his mom that he smelled marijuana a number of times (My wife of nearly two years is not happy with my cannabis use as I kept it hiddent from her - a post for another day). I'm busted and I am trying to figure out the best way to handle it: Never smoke in the house again; Rating: 5

[killerweed420]

I would just sit down with the 17 year old and have an adult conversation with him. Explain both the upside and downside of drug use. Just the facts not rhetoric and allow the kid to make an educated decision on what he thinks. And be sure to ask for his thoughts on it. As an adult we have a different viewpoint on a lot of issues but its important to see how the kids are coming to there conclusions and maybe try to help them see where they might be making errors in judgement.

[zeitgeist]

yep. You're going to have to have a conversation with him. Dont try to avoid it. Educate him. And who knows, I think it will bring you two closer, because marijuana is not something that the average kid can talk about with his parents

[michaelpeg]

IMO your step son is a little pussy, no offense man but im only 18 and i know my dad smokes weed and i have known since the age of about 14 and still kept my mouth shut and if i knew it would jepordize his relationship i definitly wouldnt say anything. i bet when he goes to his friends houses he smells marijuana too. I dont know where you are from but at my school they did some kind of annonymous survey and it proved 85% of students smoked weed and this shouldnt be too much of a shock to him. if i were you i wouldnt share anything with him and i wouldnt try to bond either but thats only my opinion and it doesnt matter what i say because i am not a parent or gaurdian of any kind.

[Breukelen advocaat]

If you have to keep something like pot smoking hidden from your wife, you're not a man - so don't expect a 17 year old to have any respect for you once he knows how pussy-whipped you are.

[THClord]

As one of the younger generation, here is what we think.

We laugh at parents who smoke but try to keep it hidden from us. At the same time we really want parents who smoke, because parents who don't smoke weed wouldn't understand.

Definately talk with your son, and be 100% honest.

[carinia]

Wow you gys, stop dogging on the guy!!

I didn't smoke pot until I was in college, (18) and I remeber trying to 'hide' it from my parents during my summers at home. Eventally they found out, and it was actually a bonding experience b/c I fond ou tthey did all the time before my time. They don't smoke now except for special occasions, but its still an experience I can share with them.

That being said, don't try to go out and smother him over to your side or anything. Just be honest with him, that you do smoke, and your reasons for doing it. Let him know that you don't want him to b/c of your reasons for wanting him to wait. Hes old enough to understand that. Its what my parents did for me, as well as share their experiences behind their reasons so I could see where they were coming from.

It was actually waht got me into growing instead of buying from shady people - the worry of laced product was their main concern. So, even tho Im still smoking they feel safer about it.


Anyhow, thats just my two cents.

[happiestmferoutthere]

I've never tried to hide it from my daughter. ( she is 20 now) I tried not to smoke in front of her, but sometimes she would just show up. I feel like you have to "lie" about your true self in public all day long. I did not want to lie in my house. I felt at home I had every right to be "me".
I simply explained to her it was my choice as an adult to smoke pot. I explained some people are really against it, but these same people drink alcohol like theres no tomorrow( I RARELY drink). She could certainly tell my behavior was "better" than her friends moms that drank. I was happier, more patient, more fun!
Of, course, since I never hid it from her I never had to deal with her "finding" out.
My husband is also a big pot head, so I didn't EVEN have to hide it from him.(except to keep him from smoking too much).
Good luck with your problem.

[stinkyattic]

Part of your discussion with your son should include a reminder that it is far better to wait to use any type of drug (that's why you wait until 18 to drink alcohol up there in the north eh) until the brain has finished developing, which is why you feel it is safer for an adult to use cannabis than a child.
As an adult, what you choose to do in private is more your own business than a minor, who is still being looked after by his parents.

Although if your son knew that his mother would be upset, and that you were hiding it from her, too, you've unfortunately set a poor example of communication that you will now have to think about and improve by taking the initiative to talk more openly to the whole family about what goes on in the house, from pot smoking to illegally downloading media.

[Mr. Clandestine]

Part of your discussion with your son should include a reminder that it is far better to wait to use any type of drug (that's why you wait until 18 to drink alcohol up there in the north eh) until the brain has finished developing, which is why you feel it is safer for an adult to use cannabis than a child.

That'll be one of my biggest talking points with my son when he's old enough to have this discussion. Hopefully by that time many laws will have changed. Hopefully I won't be viewed as much of a hypocrite for telling him he can't break the law, while I'm upstairs in the library with the door locked and an incense burning to cover up telltale odors. Not to mention, I wasn't exactly an honor student in high school... we used to get blazed on the football field before damn near every class... and the apple rarely falls far from the tree.

Luckily, I've got a while before I have to worry about this little talk... but that definitely doesn't mean I'm not thinking about what I'll have to say.

Oh God, dunno why I haven't really thought of this until now, but I may have created a monster...