all the tolerance

[vej33]

grr... first morning i've been in a terrible mood in quite a while... and sometimes it's irritating because since i'm normally such an up-beat, relaxed person, whenever i AM in a bad mood, people respond to it differently.

i mean, we all know those people who always have something crummy to say... for example, on my AIM buddy list, there are those people who 24/7 have "in a horrible mood, leave me alone" or "I CAN'T STAND PEOPLE" as their away message... those people are somehow "allowed" to be in bad moods because that's how they characterize themselves.

but me, a normally nice guy, can't have 1 bad day without people calling me on it or jumping down my throat about it...

im not sure this has to do with my break from weed, more like im just ranting...

the break's going nicely i guess. i think im on day 9... it seems like this break is going SOOO slow, but an advantage to that is if it takes a WHILE for me to get to the point where i can smoke again, that means at least i'll be working out and getting fit for a WHILE.

bleck. today will be a long one.

better get to it.

[vej33]

warning... more unhappy babbling ahead...

you know, it really pisses me off when friendship is not reciprocated... i take friendship very seriously, and if someone i was very close to decided to take a break from weed, i'd be supportive.

but for some reason iv got these douchebags that are more concerned with having one less person to get a fix from, or one less person to chip in, or that im "changing" because i don't hang out and smoke 24/7... that's selfish. incredibly selfish.

i admit, i can be selfish sometimes too... but jesus christ, it's hard enough to follow thru with your OWN plans and your OWN goals without someone else trying to break you down.

the way i see it, if a friend tells me they're taking a break it's for a couple reasons... A.) they want to let me know why they won't be smoking... B.) they want to let me know that they will make the decision to smoke the next time, so i need not offer... C.) they want my support...

im a communication major PEOPLE TALK FOR A REASON. if i tell someone im not smoking, it's not because i'm bragging. it's a silent plea for their help. please make this easier on me by NOT getting in the way.........

is it selfish to want to achieve your own fucking goals??!

[Reefer Rogue]

Why wait when you know you can still get high...

[vej33]

Why wait when you know you can still get high...

Not even, Im on antibiotics for a few weeks.

[melodious fellow]

Hey bro, my apologies for the assumption. I actually considered the fact that you might be a guy, but then I thought if it is a chic then it wouldn't make sense and she might get offended, but come to think of it, that doesn't really make sense either. Anyway, apologies bro.

You asked if your ranting could be because of the break. IMHO as a psych student, it definitely could be due to the break. Their can be mood changes when any type of psychotrophic (greek, nutritous to the mind) substance is either introduced to the body, or removed from the body after a being used for a certain period of time and the body has developed a tolerance, or in some cases a slight dependency on the substance.

For example, I cannot get to sleep without cannabis. If I were to be dry, I would not sleep for days on end at times and the mood changes come with extra velocity then.

There are many such variables that affect this, but for up to a few weeks, it is not uncommon for heavy uses to report insomnia, depression, sweating, impatience, anxiety etc It will get better fast though, no worries

And I was just playin' 'bout pressing ya to give in... lol

:hippy:

[vej33]

the boyfriend toked again last night. i did not.

for a large portion of yesterday i was with a bunch of my friends who i usually smoke with (we got Subway hehe) and at one point it was mentioned that we should go for some dessert (our discrete way of saying let's go smoke) but i kind of just sidestepped it.

iv been having issues with my car, and ALMOST consented to smoking... but there were so many more reasons Not to.

But I haven't faced the real challenge of being IN a room WITH people smoking and being able to say no. That's the hard part, and that's the part I want to know I can handle.

but maybe that's setting myself up for failure. i have another friend (the president of our student government, no less) who keeps informing me that she just got some weed and that we need to hang out soon, so maybe that will be the environment in which I will say no to a smoking bowl.

Let's see!

ps... don't worry melodious fellow most of these avatar names are pretty androgenous, and i guess it doesn't help that my handle is peculiarly close to the word "vag", hinting that i might in fact have one. but nope, all male up in hurr :smokin:

[vej33]

so this has nothing to do with my current smoking habits, although maybe it does...

so im in this show, Hedda Gabler, doing great things... it was one of the reasons i decided to take a break from smoking, because i wanted to be clear-headed for it.

So today after rehearsal, my cast went to see another show called "12 Angry Men" (really good show)... and while I was there, I was approached by a student at the music school attached to my college. He told me he's directing a 2-person 1-act musical called "The Last Five Years". It's about 90% singing, I haven't been featured as a singer in a show in... maybe 2 or 3 years... and one of the reasons I've abstained from getting involved with anything singing is because of smoking.

Anyway, this guy approached me, and basically offered me the male part in this 2-person musical. Auditions are on the 15th, and the show goes up sometime towards the end of the semester....

This would mean that i definitely would not be smoking leading up to this production... definitely on 420, and maybe out of a vaporizer recreationally, but that's it...

I think I took this break at the very right time in my life.

[vej33]

tomorrow will be 3 weeks of cold-turkey no smoking after almost 2 years of doing it daily.

it's getting really reallllly hard not to call up my dealer.

i just keep getting reminded of how easy it is to get weed! (it makes me laugh when i think of those desperate days and nights where all i wanted was for a dealer to answer their phone lol)

i could just call.. start my car... buy the shit... and be high before i left his driveway, hell before i left his livingroom!!

but must maintain... only 12 more days and i can smoke again!!!

[Spoken Word]

i hope i can keep this up. i think i can.

Mind over matter, sweety. You can and you will.:thumbsup:

[vej33]

Tomorrow is my 1 month mark!!!!! I'm nearly there!!!

Friday begins my spring break, so Friday night I will be fuccckkkinggg ripped!!! 5 more days 5 more days 5 more days :-D

It's not like I've been counting the days or anything, honestly, and it's not like I'm even like "omg i can't wait i can't wait", but for me it's the actually fact that i MADE it, i DID it, or rather i DIDN'T do it! It's proof for myself that I can stick to my guns and actually accomplash what I set out for. I went for 1/12th of an entire year without weed and SURVIVED WOW!