Ok...so let's look at our options here:

Option A: You are lying. Great, I hope you are. However, you are still a horrible person for even joking about something like this.

Option B: You are not lying. WHAT THE FUCK? (Thank you FUNKNUGGET) You were like whatever?! How old are you man? I don't mean to make things any harder on you...but the way you are describing this makes it really seem like you still don't give a fuck about it.

This is extremely sad...and frustrating. I honestly have to admit that I hate your fucking guts right now.