TheSpoof.com : U.S. Justice Department: Ron Paul moneybombs may violate PATRIOT Act funny satire story

The United States Justice Department is investigating the possibility that donation events known as "moneybombs" for GOP candidate Ron Paul may be violating the USA PATRIOT Act, Attorney General Michael Mukasey said today.

"The other GOP campaigns have brought these moneybombs to my attention," Mukasey said. "They believe the moneybombs constitute a 'political threat' to them that may in fact violate the PATRIOT Act."

The PATRIOT Act -- an acronym for "President's Attempt To Restrict Individuals Over Towers" -- was signed into law on October 26, 2001. The Act was designed to remove the rights and liberties guaranteed by the United States Constitution so that Americans wouldn't be free to go where terrorists might harm them. Some Americans have protested this loss of freedom, but a good Tasering usually changes their mind, so Americans overall are happy with the status quo.

"We don't have anything to do with the moneybombs," Paul campaign spokesman Jesse Benton explained. "They are organized by the grassroots supporters. We don't participate at all in these events. We don't even know these alleged supporters. They don't influence us and we don't influence them. I wouldn't even recognize them on the street if I saw them. They are strangers to us. Yep, we're clueless about this stuff. Our spam filter catches most of their e-mails to us, so there's no way we could coordinate or communicate with them, even if we wanted to."

Some Paul supporters have criticized the Paul campaign for being too distant from them.

The other GOP candidates have said they would consider dropping their complaint if the Paul campaign splits the proceeds from future moneybombs with them, Mukasey said.

How fucking RIDICULOUS is this??! 'yeah umm...people don't like what we say as much and we're not good at raising money...so we'll stop complaining if you split your campaign donations with us' how idiotic..
Markass Reviewed by Markass on . U.S. Justice Department: Ron Paul moneybombs may violate PATRIOT Act TheSpoof.com : U.S. Justice Department: Ron Paul moneybombs may violate PATRIOT Act funny satire story The United States Justice Department is investigating the possibility that donation events known as "moneybombs" for GOP candidate Ron Paul may be violating the USA PATRIOT Act, Attorney General Michael Mukasey said today. "The other GOP campaigns have brought these moneybombs to my attention," Mukasey said. "They believe the moneybombs constitute a 'political threat' to them that may in Rating: 5