And then there was Wonka911.

His thread was just ate 4 "Leary biscuits":

I just took 4 Ritz crackers smeared a little butter on each and broke up about a gram (give or take) on each then put a little piece of cheese on top and mic'd em until the cheese was melted...they taste a lot like broccoli n cheese and I happen to hate that so it was kinda hard for me to get em down but I ate all 4...think ill feel anything in about hour?


Just like all the others, we never heard from him again, and everyone had to guess what happened. Some thought maybe he had called some kind of emergency services like that crazy cop who ate the brownies. By this point, Coelho was mentioning his list of people who had disappeared as a warning to others.

Here's my take on it:

His name is Wonka911. He probably called 911 and all he could say was, "Wonka."

911 Operator: "Sir, please state your emergency."
Wonka911: "Wonka, wonka, wonka..."
911 Operator: "Sir, I can't understand you. Could you speak more clearly?"
Wonka911: "Wonka... wonka..."
911 Operator: "Sir, are you having a real emergency, or is this a hoax?"
Wonka911: "Wonka..."
911 Operator: "Sir, are you high?"
Wonka911: "Wonka! Wonka! Wonka!"
911 Operator: "Sir, did you eat four Leary Biscuits?"
Wonka911: "WONKA! WONKA!"
911 Operator: "Sir, just chill and put on some music. Have some water and a snack. You probably won't die."



People refused to give up, but after two more days we still hadn't heard back:

It's been two days, so I think he's gone.

Let us have a moment of silence for this young adventurer who paid the ultimate sacrifice to push the barriers of what is possible.

.
.
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And now, let the bongs toll...

Bong!
Bong!
Bong!
Bong!
Bong!

Godspeed wonka!