do you stay with someone even if you hate what they do for a living?

[geonagual]

great advice. ididnt I hear up there that there is a kid involved? what is the deal with that?

[stinkyattic]

Wait, you moved your KID away from your whole family too? Or is it his kid as well?
If he's the father, you've got an international MESS on your hands.
If he's not, get your ass back to your safety net for the child's sake. Kids need family around. You have a responsibility as a parent to make DAMN sure that happens.

[warmblanky]

How does he pay his rent? :wtf:

his sister has lent his mom (we live with his mom) money to pay the rent plus money to buy groceries. we owe her alot of money.


I hear ya. That's a big leap of faith. Make sure that because you don't know anyone else you aren't becoming clingy. If you intend to stay there, you NEED to make some other friends ASAP.

i know for a fact that i am clingy while im up here because there is no one else to hang out with. im scared of hanging out with his sister or his mom's best friend (his mom's best friend is 27, and his mom is like 54, so its kinda weird/cool that they are friends. i wish his mom's friend was my friend) because whatever personal shit i might say to them, would probably get back to his mom because you know how girls talk about everything. also there was a girl i wanted to hang out with, but his mom told me that she has a "bad reputation" in this town, so that made it sound like im not even allowed to hang out with her !


Doing what? Smoking? Are they actually trying to run a business or just playing at it?

i really think alot of the times they just sit around with each other and bullshit about nothing. yea they will smoke weed together so that makes me think they get even less done. how could they not sit around and bullshit with each other while at "work" when they are probably really good friends? they "work"

Probably? have you looked into it? It's good to get an education and a circle of friends at the same time.

well i know that i wont have any money until i get paid on jan 25th. so by that time im sure i will have missed this spring's semester. but you are right i should call them.

Let me give you some advice. Moving away from everyone you love to be with a boyfriend puts a lot of stress on the relationship. I hope that he got down on his knees and BEGGED you to move and treats you well.
I also think that you should go to college. Long distance relationships aren't the worst thing in the world. Community College in Maine isn't a bad idea. You could still see him some weekends. He is busy with the business; why waste your time waiting around for him to find a few moments to keep you company while you could be getting your own career on track? Do you want to have to depend on him to pay the bills when you are living together? If you think you feel trapped now, wait until later when you are living in a country where you do not have citizenship or even a student visa and can't find a job...

I think you're in an unwinnable situation. Go back to school. Get some independence. Get some perspective.

we met online when we were 18 and have been doing the long distance thing for about 3 years, then i moved here when i was 21. im from tennessee and hes from alberta, so i wouldnt be in maine, i would be in TN and its 3,000 miles away from where he is. i dont think he'd want to go back to doing the long distance thing and frankly i wouldnt want to do it again either. its too hard.



there is no kid involved.


sorry idk how to do multiple quotes.
and thank you guys for giving a shit about my fucked up life. i do need advice badly.

[geonagual]

the kid makes the difference in this right now..is it his?

[warmblanky]

i said that most of the girls here my age (21) have kids, so i doubt they would have alot of time to hang out with me.

i myself do not have a kid

[warmblanky]

i dont have a kid nor do i want one

[geonagual]

oh ok...then it is time to do for "you" right now...do you smoke weed?

[warmblanky]

yep i do


but i have no connections in TN so i probably wont when/if i go back home. i cant roll joints.

i've gotten weed before in TN and its absolute shit. people will actually sell you bags full of stems and seeds. but the stuff here in canada is all hairy and has crystals all over it. so that is gonna suck. to not have that anymore

[WeedyBoyWonder]

so if i left here i would lose my best friend. i have no friends in the states where im from either. well hardly. i have my 2 sisters and my mom and thats about it. but they are busy with their own lives.

if you had no friends where you were from, surely you can't use that as a reason to be unhappy where you are now?
I would guess maybe join a hobby club type thing, I can't remember what they are called, or an evening class etc etc to get out and about and meet people and have the social interaction you're craving. Then, it is just down to your relationship and his job?
I couldn't even begin to put myself in your situation, but I hope you work it out.

[warmblanky]

if you had no friends where you were from, surely you can't use that as a reason to be unhappy where you are now?
I would guess maybe join a hobby club type thing, I can't remember what they are called, or an evening class etc etc to get out and about and meet people and have the social interaction you're craving. Then, it is just down to your relationship and his job?
I couldn't even begin to put myself in your situation, but I hope you work it out.

well i guess i can consider my sisters and my mom to be my friends. thats more than i have up here that is for sure.

i dont even think its really worth to give up the life i had in the states where i could go to any school i wanted and see my family every day. i dont have any of that here.

all i have here is a shitty ass gas station job and a boyfriend who is too busy for me.


my boyfriend has his "business" here, his friend, and all of his family in the same town as him. and he could go to school if he wanted cos hes a citizen.

i dont have any of that