Quote Originally Posted by Purple Banana
Ever since my friend's mom died, I've been beyond depressed... Hell, even before it happened. I find myself focusing more on the inevitablity that we're all going to be a sandspeck in the beach of time, and it feels like everything's just too big for me.

I find myself becoming much more disorganized, more tired, I have more pain, and I just don't feel the way I used to. I go from each day thinking "Oh wow, the world's such a beautiful place" to thinking "Nothing really matters, not my consciousness, not the leaf on that tree, nothing."

I never used to think like that. The differences in though are not nearly extreme enough to suggest bipolar, and I haven't changed the amount of weed I am smoking. Maybe I have SAD?

I don't know, I really don't.
Kinowing that you will die someday is all the more reason to rejoice now! don't waste your life contemplating what matters, or what happens after. just go with it.