This is a hard one. My mother has a condition that gives her severe anxiety (she sounds a lot like your mom from your brief post) and my father has sever anger/anxiety issues due to a chemical imbalance, which I also inherited (I know 3 other people that have the same imbalance from other illnesses). Severe anxiety also typically comes with dependance from my experience. The best advice I can give is communicate with your mom on a regular basis...if she smokes, hang out with her at least once a week. If not, talk to her about marijuana. It could help her out and even give her a new hobby if she decides to grow. New hobbies are great for my anxiety/anger issues.

You're totally lost....She's totally lost....There's not a whole lot you can do but be with her and help her through this as a friend and as family. If your family looks down on you for that....well....then that's fucked up. Face these problems head on or you'll merely tolerate them your entire life, and that just makes you feel terrible in the long run.

Take things step by step. You can't go to a counselor right now, but don't rule anything out in the long run. See how things go, and change the course of action as time goes on. In the end, why sacrifice her potential happiness for a man that seems to have ruined her life. If a counselor is a must later on, don't hesitate to go (and remember, you pay for a counselor...that counselor is a businessman, not a police officer. What you say is between the client and the counselor).

I hope shit works out for you and your mother, man.