Taking care of someone ill.

[Trip06]

This has been bothering me for a long time now and I need to get it out before it eats me alive. Ive been trying to take care of my mother for a long time but I havent the slightest clue what to do or what course to go in. This may not be intirely marijuanna related but im leaving this open for people who possibly treat otheres with medical marijuanna. My parents got divorced around 2002 or something and my mother broke down and told my dad she was sexualy abused by her dad when she was young. Most of the reason why my dad divorced her was because of her just being completely fucked up. She is really imature for her age, has really bad mood swings, and was suicidal. Shes been on anti anxiety pills but is off and now is on lexipro or someshit. I cant even look at my grandpa the same way nomore. I wanna help her so bad, but I feel like im crossing a mine field trying to. I live with my dad and we dont talk about it, but I think this is really fucked up. I cant go to a counsler nor can she or else my grandpas going to go to jail, and its going to stir up a fucking huricane of shit with in the family. I feel like I cant do anything about this and I dont wanna watch my mom totally suffer for the rest of her life. Can anybody give me some advice im totally lost.

Trip06 Reviewed by Trip06 on 12-27-2007. Taking care of someone ill. This has been bothering me for a long time now and I need to get it out before it eats me alive. Ive been trying to take care of my mother for a long time but I havent the slightest clue what to do or what course to go in. This may not be intirely marijuanna related but im leaving this open for people who possibly treat otheres with medical marijuanna. My parents got divorced around 2002 or something and my mother broke down and told my dad she was sexualy abused by her dad when she was young. Rating: 5

[Dave Byrd]

Who's prescribing her medicines now, Trip? The family doctor?

Your mom needs to get some help from the doctor who's treating her and get a recommendation to see a counselor or therapist who deals with that issue or find one on her own. Whether it stirs up shit or not, she's not going to get any less messed up by waiting. She'll just get sicker. She can seek treatment for herself and let the people who work with her guide her on how to deal with her father if she has to deal with him at all now. She may simply choose not to pursue legal action against him.

My wife, Birdgirl, will be home in a little while and needs to read this. She has worked as a volunteer at our county's women's crisis center for two decades and knows the steps to recommend because she's dealt with situations like this or taken these calls hundreds of times. There are free and sliding scale services to people who need counseling for this issue.

I just found this number in my wife's folder for when she's taking call at the center. I've heard her give this information to many people over the years, and it's a good place to start. If you can't persuade your mom to call the number, you can call it yourself and find out more, I'm sure. It's the National Sexual Assault Hotline, and it's 1.800.656.HOPE.
Here's the Web link, too. Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network.

[Jouryokujin]

This is a hard one. My mother has a condition that gives her severe anxiety (she sounds a lot like your mom from your brief post) and my father has sever anger/anxiety issues due to a chemical imbalance, which I also inherited (I know 3 other people that have the same imbalance from other illnesses). Severe anxiety also typically comes with dependance from my experience. The best advice I can give is communicate with your mom on a regular basis...if she smokes, hang out with her at least once a week. If not, talk to her about marijuana. It could help her out and even give her a new hobby if she decides to grow. New hobbies are great for my anxiety/anger issues.

You're totally lost....She's totally lost....There's not a whole lot you can do but be with her and help her through this as a friend and as family. If your family looks down on you for that....well....then that's fucked up. Face these problems head on or you'll merely tolerate them your entire life, and that just makes you feel terrible in the long run.

Take things step by step. You can't go to a counselor right now, but don't rule anything out in the long run. See how things go, and change the course of action as time goes on. In the end, why sacrifice her potential happiness for a man that seems to have ruined her life. If a counselor is a must later on, don't hesitate to go (and remember, you pay for a counselor...that counselor is a businessman, not a police officer. What you say is between the client and the counselor).

I hope shit works out for you and your mother, man.

[Trip06]

I try to spend alot of time with her despite my problumes going on right now, she dosnt get out at all cept for work and taking care of my little brother. I sucked it up yesturday and told her I know about what happened and that im there for her. Of course she begain to cry. Shes told me shes talked to conslers about it, so my dad was wrong when he told me she wouldnt because of them contacting the police. But I can see counceling has not helped her enouf. She is scared for life badly, and Im going to have to watch her suffer for the rest of it. I dont wanna go to family gatharings on that side of the family no more because my grandpa will be there. I guess im really doing the best that I can do to help her. I wish I could more. I just needed to vent this.