Just discovered that my underage nephew is toking...need advice please!

[Coelho]

GLDD, thats really a tough situation... just a thing that i think nobody mentioned... try to put yourself in hims place... to imagine that you are him... try to think what you would like your aunt did if she discovered you smoke... cause everything has two (or rather many) sides... and it would be better if we could see them all. Just my :twocents:

[rostapharian]

dont tell his dad it will make his home life awkward and just make life shit.
:S5:

[GreenLadyOfDankDowns]

Well, we talked. Or rather, as soon as I told him I'd found his stuff he cried (so much for his badass image) while I talked. Basically I told him I wasn't going to tell his dad, but we needed to have an understanding regarding judicious usage. I let him know that I wasn't judging him for his choices, I just wanted to make sure he understood what kind of consequences smoking can have for a young guy like him.

He's growing up and will legally be an adult in two years time and he's got a lot of important choices ahead which he needs to start thinking about. He wants to go to college and study music (he's actually very talented, he already plays guitar, piano, and drums quite well) and to do that he has to have the grades. He's an intelligent young man and has a lot of potential but to realize his goals he has to focus more and goof off with his buddies a little less. Recreation is important too, and valid, but needs to be kept in proper perspective. If he is having any problems in school he can come to me and I'll take the time to help him understand anything that's giving him trouble.

I let him know that while weed isn't necessarily dangerous, some of the people who deal it are. So if he should decide he wants to smoke now, or in the future, he needs to be careful and use common sense. I made a point to stress to him that when he gets his driver's licence he should never drive while high. I also printed out a bunch on information about MJ and its effects and possible side effects for him to read.

Finally after that speech (which made me feel like a guidance counselor) he loosened up a bit and asked some questions which I answered as truthfully as possible. He told me that he gets his weed (regs, about a quarter a month when he has the money, and he's been smoking occasionally for nearly six months) from his friend's older brother and that he never uses it at school. He and his friend and sometimes their girlfriends go smoke in the woods behind his house.

I admitted that I do smoke when he asked me. Of course then he wanted us to smoke together, but I told him out of some lingering respect I still have for his dad that I just can't do that until he comes of age. He was cool with it, and even hugged and thanked me after the whole ordeal, which is odd because he hasn't been the hugging type since he was 10. I guess he just appreciated that I didn't yell at him and wasn't going to tell his father. After he hugged me, right when he was about to leave I told him if I ever caught him trying to pinch out of my stash I'd nail his balls to the basement ceiling. The look on his face was priceless. LOL!

[Markass]

confront him about it...I can personally say that a lot of kids don't see it as too bad of thing, definitely not as bad as other drugs...we see how it affects us compared to alcohol and wonder why it's said to be wrong..

The bottom line is, no matter how much discouragement comes, marijuana is easier to find than someone to buy you beer or cigarettes..If someone wants to do it they're going to regardless. That's what I'll be facing once I have kids and it will put me between a rock and a hard spot. Honestly, at 16 he is capable of kind of making smart choices, encourage him that if he does it to be responsible, and careful. Remind him how easy it is to be caught with it and how disappointed his parents would be...

As for the school, it could be attributed to his habit...Maybe his parents should look into some tudoring for him, or possibly give him help with his schoolwork if they can..? Try and find out what he's having trouble in school with. I remember going through high school, everything was manageable with me getting stoned every day before school, except for algebra which I had trouble with all through high school, and never got that credit until a few weeks ago..High school is a lot of work, especially nowadays..there's a lot of required b/s and I don't think that a lot of teachers are willing to take the time to notice individuals who are struggling, merely concluding that they aren't giving enough effort..when in reality they just need individualized attention...I never got that attention, so I struggled with math, and failed it every year of high school because of that...

I don't know if this will help much but it's my take on it :stoned: :thumbsup: good luck

[petros]

As long as he listens to you and respects you, I think you made the right choice. Let's say if I was in his position at that age, that's how I would have wanted it to go down. I'm really glad I wasn't into weed in high school... I can see how it could steer someone in the wrong direction. Hopefully you got him back on track.

[birdgirl73]

You handled it great, Greenlady! Just beautifully.

I have a very uptight first cousin whose two younger daughters smoke. One of them is 17 and got busted for possession after a routine car stop and one of them is 20 and so far has been more discreet. My cousin wanted me to talk to them about the legal aspects of the younger girl's situation, and I think he also wanted me to launch into an anti-cannabis discussion from my own standpoint as someone who's always been a bit of an overachiever when it comes to school.

I told him I couldn't in good conscience take an anti-cannabis stance, not to him or anyone. I said after learning about it and reading about it and smoking it myself, I know it's far more harmless to kids than alcohol, and I explained it has major untapped potential for medical use. That opened his eyes a bit. He was always such a goodie-goodie. After he had heard my stance, I asked him if he still wanted me to talk to his girls, and he said yes, which surprised me. So I said what I had to say, that I didn't have a problem with cannabis and was a believer in its legalization but that cannabis itself still has a serious problem, which is that it's illegal in most places, including here in Texas. So folks who're willing to take the risk to smoke it really need to be grown up and in a position where they have their own place, their own job so they can pay any legal bills they may incur. It's my personal opinion that they also need to be through with the bulk of their formal education if that's possible. I told his 17-year-old that if she's getting caught with it, it likely means she's not yet ready to be smoking it.

I don't know how this story ends yet. This was just at the end of October we had that talk. So far no more busts, and I don't for a moment believe they've stopped smoking. The story reminded me of your situation with your nephew, Greenlady, so I decided to bore you with it!

[Spoken Word]

Man, I think the people on this site are great. Honestly..
Good read.

[beachguy in thongs]

...he wanted us to smoke together, but I told him out of some lingering respect I still have for his dad that I just can't do that until he comes of age.

Just smoke with him! You'd want him to smoke with you if you were out for three weeks.

Out of some lingering smoke from his son, your brother should respect your privacy.

Ummm, maybe you shouldn't.

[MadSativa]

you actualy thought about telling his dad??? Does his dad smoke???

I say family smoke out, if I could smoke out with family it would be kool but not to many of my family smokes and the ones that do I dont wana smoke wit em anyway. You might be lucky, cause I have no family to smoke with and it sucks

[SantaClawz]

I was put into the same situation, except it was my actual little brother. Im 23, hes 16, he's very smart. What did I do when I found out? Smoked with him. It may have been irresponcible but he doesnt need me telling him what to do. Frankly I didnt know what to say, how could I excuse myself whilst telling him not to smoke? Because im adult? How many times did I hear that one when I was younger...? What you can do is teach him to be as responcible as possible while doing something illegal. No smoking in public, do not carry it around with you whenever possible, it is illegal, you will go to jail, and you will stay there cause im not bailing you out.


EDIT: I forgot to mention...ive only smoked with him one time, where did he get the gooooooooood shit?!