Just discovered that my underage nephew is toking...need advice please!

[MadSativa]

^^ I dont know about irresponsible, but if hes smart, and hes got the good stuff, mabey you need to take notes

[RUTBpiping]

Well, we talked. Or rather, as soon as I told him I'd found his stuff he cried (so much for his badass image) while I talked. Basically I told him I wasn't going to tell his dad, but we needed to have an understanding regarding judicious usage. I let him know that I wasn't judging him for his choices, I just wanted to make sure he understood what kind of consequences smoking can have for a young guy like him.

He's growing up and will legally be an adult in two years time and he's got a lot of important choices ahead which he needs to start thinking about. He wants to go to college and study music (he's actually very talented, he already plays guitar, piano, and drums quite well) and to do that he has to have the grades. He's an intelligent young man and has a lot of potential but to realize his goals he has to focus more and goof off with his buddies a little less. Recreation is important too, and valid, but needs to be kept in proper perspective. If he is having any problems in school he can come to me and I'll take the time to help him understand anything that's giving him trouble.

I let him know that while weed isn't necessarily dangerous, some of the people who deal it are. So if he should decide he wants to smoke now, or in the future, he needs to be careful and use common sense. I made a point to stress to him that when he gets his driver's licence he should never drive while high. I also printed out a bunch on information about MJ and its effects and possible side effects for him to read.

Finally after that speech (which made me feel like a guidance counselor) he loosened up a bit and asked some questions which I answered as truthfully as possible. He told me that he gets his weed (regs, about a quarter a month when he has the money, and he's been smoking occasionally for nearly six months) from his friend's older brother and that he never uses it at school. He and his friend and sometimes their girlfriends go smoke in the woods behind his house.

I admitted that I do smoke when he asked me. Of course then he wanted us to smoke together, but I told him out of some lingering respect I still have for his dad that I just can't do that until he comes of age. He was cool with it, and even hugged and thanked me after the whole ordeal, which is odd because he hasn't been the hugging type since he was 10. I guess he just appreciated that I didn't yell at him and wasn't going to tell his father. After he hugged me, right when he was about to leave I told him if I ever caught him trying to pinch out of my stash I'd nail his balls to the basement ceiling. The look on his face was priceless. LOL!

Bravo well played!

When turns 18 take him out and get stoned if you feel uncomfortable.

The bit about being careful when buying weed is important it should be obvious but sometimes it needs to be reiterated.

[GreenLadyOfDankDowns]

Oh I will RutB. I love that spastic little bastard and just want to help him and be there for him if he needs me (cause his dad sure isn't). He's my little bro through and through. Just look at us on Halloween night back in 02 (when I was still taller than him, he's almost reached 6 ft now). Don't we make quite the pair? Great, now I'm getting all sentimental. Truthfully, I kind of miss when he was still a little kid following me like a shadow. A short skinny shadow true, but still...

[jh80ww]

i would definately tell his dad/your brother, if you love him and care for him don't let him fuck shit up while he is young

[SFGurrilla]

You are on the right track! Don't tell Dad, like you said, he's an asshat! You might gently chide your nephew about being careless! He was lucky it was you and not Dad! A good scare will do him good!

Does your nephew know HOW to study? I'm going to do a bit of "cut and paste from an old post I did. Print it up, it might help his grades. "Stoner study tips" are hard to come by for some odd reason! but I'm a stoned teacher's aide/tutor (not at work, of course), so here they are!

Going back to school? Great study tips!

"I want all of you to get straight "A"s, to break the "dumb, underachieving stoner" image and maybe amaze the parents and teachers! I work in education and I'm darn good at it. Here's a few things you can do to get better grades. You may not get all "A"s the first semester, but your grades should improve greatly!

First, get a cassette recorder- even an "el cheapo" will do, you aren't recording music! Read your text books into it and replay the text often, while driving, doing housework, etc. I guarantee you will learn it! It is easier than reading and re-reading your text book- just click and play!

Second, begin work ASAP on all assignments. The kids in college though I was crazy because I started on term papers a couple of weeks into class. By the time finals came around, I was done with it and could focus on JUST the finals- while everyone else was going crazy trying to do both for all their classes. I graduated with honors.

Third, type out your notes! Retyping them makes you pay attention to what you wrote. Try to read a sentence, then retype it from memory. Be sure to read it again to check for accuracy.

Fourth, Study in a group! The feedback from fellow students sticks in your mind (usually more than what the teacher said in class!). They did a study on this and kids who worked in groups got better grades with the same amount of studying as students who studied alone.

Fifth, I had a lot of luck writing my papers stoned and cleaning them up straight. The ideas just "flowed". Math (for me) was a disaster when I was stoned, however.

Sixth, Use a reward system. "I won't play my Xbox/get stoned/ have a cookie until I finish this assignment. Just don't do a hurried job- be patient!

Another thing you can do, if you are creative, is to take a tune you know well and set new words to it- the facts you need to learn. I can still recite Poe's poem "El Dorado" that I learned in the 60s! I set it to some music and sang it through over and over. Remembering a song uses a different part of your brain than learning nonmusical stuff. So basically, you have it "written" in two places in your memory, making it more likely that you will be able to remember the facts.

As a tutor, one third of my job is getting kids to believe in themselves. The other thirds are- teaching kids how to study (tricks and tips), and the actual teaching of the facts and formulas. Most of you are just lacking the "tools" you need to learn- you're not stupid, you just don't know how to learn! And HOW to learn is not something most schools teach! I just gave you a few tricks that work for a lot of people. You DO have to work, though. Facts don't just jump into your head, you have to put them there. Very few of the kids I've tutored have remained stuck in their low grades. And I am proud of every one of them! Go for it! Make me proud!- Granny

And a little more!
OK, Let's add flash cards to the list of good study aids! In science, learning the vocabulary is half the battle! Pick up some 3x5s and use them for vocabulary, history, whatever! Again, they are easy to use in those "wasted minutes" (waiting for the microwave to cook a potato, commercials during the game, riding in a car...)"

Well, that might help you a bit. - Granny :hippywho graduated with honors)

Sweet, tips to passing senior year. :hippy:

[ReUp]

Don't snitch. Don't ever snitch.

[tootsie roll]

Well, we talked. Or rather, as soon as I told him I'd found his stuff he cried (so much for his badass image) while I talked. Basically I told him I wasn't going to tell his dad, but we needed to have an understanding regarding judicious usage. I let him know that I wasn't judging him for his choices, I just wanted to make sure he understood what kind of consequences smoking can have for a young guy like him.

He's growing up and will legally be an adult in two years time and he's got a lot of important choices ahead which he needs to start thinking about. He wants to go to college and study music (he's actually very talented, he already plays guitar, piano, and drums quite well) and to do that he has to have the grades. He's an intelligent young man and has a lot of potential but to realize his goals he has to focus more and goof off with his buddies a little less. Recreation is important too, and valid, but needs to be kept in proper perspective. If he is having any problems in school he can come to me and I'll take the time to help him understand anything that's giving him trouble.

I let him know that while weed isn't necessarily dangerous, some of the people who deal it are. So if he should decide he wants to smoke now, or in the future, he needs to be careful and use common sense. I made a point to stress to him that when he gets his driver's licence he should never drive while high. I also printed out a bunch on information about MJ and its effects and possible side effects for him to read.

Finally after that speech (which made me feel like a guidance counselor) he loosened up a bit and asked some questions which I answered as truthfully as possible. He told me that he gets his weed (regs, about a quarter a month when he has the money, and he's been smoking occasionally for nearly six months) from his friend's older brother and that he never uses it at school. He and his friend and sometimes their girlfriends go smoke in the woods behind his house.

I admitted that I do smoke when he asked me. Of course then he wanted us to smoke together, but I told him out of some lingering respect I still have for his dad that I just can't do that until he comes of age. He was cool with it, and even hugged and thanked me after the whole ordeal, which is odd because he hasn't been the hugging type since he was 10. I guess he just appreciated that I didn't yell at him and wasn't going to tell his father. After he hugged me, right when he was about to leave I told him if I ever caught him trying to pinch out of my stash I'd nail his balls to the basement ceiling. The look on his face was priceless. LOL!

That was way cool for you to do!
:thumbsup:

[napolitana869]

I think you handled it very well. Now he knows he has an adult on his side who doesnt just want to get him in trouble. I'd try and keep tabs on how he's doing in school. If he starts letting pot get in the way of good grades you might have to have another talk.

[ReUp]

Honestly, what I don't understand is how you believe you have any business with what he is doing. Have a kid if you want to give long drawn out talks like that. Maybe you need more to do to keep you busy. I'm sick of people who think because they are 10 years older they are automatically more responsible or worth listening to at all. You really think he's taken something from your talk? No. He's just glad you didn't tell his parents. He'll blaze when he pleases.

[poseidon]

well another 2 years and you and your nephew can smoke together.. Marijuana is especially interesting for a musician, atleast for me it is.. In unexplainable ways..