I don't wish to sound crass or offensive so I offer advice with a grain of salt. Intense passionate love-making could help you overcome this hurdle, overpowering all your senses at once under the right conditions could allow you to get so "lost in the moment" that everything else will just come natural to you.

Getting away from familiar locations will help dearly, a vacation far away allows you to separate yourself further from earthly woes. It's not about telling yourself anything, that's what you want to avoid. You don't want to feel any pressure or anxiety or pain, you're away from all that now and ready to completely let yourself be blissed out. You want to bite onto your lover's lip, and sink your nails deeply into his back. Never looking back.