Yeah I have talked to my ob/gyn, and been to various specialists etc. I've been working the dilator approach, but progress is slow - i'm basically uncomfortable with the method. I've had sex before, but not with my current partner; it's become a physical reflex effect, so I'm encouraged to try different techniques/strategies to help overcome the routine - this current line of questioning on this site being one such avenue of exploration, alongside therapies, relaxation, kegel etc etc.
Thanks though for taking my queries seriously and with care and attention